A very personal meme
Nov. 17th, 2004 09:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scottishlassI think I will shock some ppl with this meme so I put it behind the cut. It's very personal, very frank. Oh well, why not? I have nothing to loose and nothing to hide.
Snurched from almost everyone it seems![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
elfnut, spacellama :)
30 years ago, I...
became a first grader and I loved it. A whole new world opened up with more books, more knowledge, more everything.And my greatgrandmother told my mom, either she gets a divorce and can go on living with her kid or she can stay married and my greatgrandparents take me. For once my mother chose well and I finally got rid of my first step-father thanks to my grammy after he had hit my mom and me for almost two years and had started to take a *special* interest in me.
20 years ago, I...
changed school systems, and despite my mother's and 2nd stepfather's objections blew the chance on an apprenticeship with a cabinet maker and continued on to high school. Journey to Scotland with my frail greatgrandfather, a wonderful journey to my roots. Sweet sixteen and 3/4s and experiencing the first summer of love. The *first time* and resulting oceans of tears when I returned home. My greatgrandfather dies, my one and only father figure is gone.
15 years ago, I...
started university. I knew what I wanted, I knew who I am, after staying in Great Britain for 2 years. I moved out from my parents' house into a shared apartment. My biological father as well as my half sisters and brother contact me, my father wants to see me but I turn him down. My family, my tradition, my roots of who I am are in Scotland and not with them.
10 years ago, I...
move into my own apartment, get a job outside university and start dabbling my fingers into university politics. Part of the student union's committee, as well as freshman tutorial committee and tutor. University is where I thrive, learn and live. I return to Scotland for the summer, soul searching and tear jerking events, in the fall I return home and have an abortion. Got my first on-line account and mail addy. The internet is still a wild, non-image text based community with a handful of users.
5 years ago, I...
Finished my second chemo therapy and go into remission. I work on my PhD and get it, even if it is the last thing I will do. Olly and I are together for 2 years now and we are taking the step on moving into our first joined apartment, new life, new everything, and it works out very smoothly, to the overall surprise of everyone.
4 years ago, I...
quit my job and went freelance due to my cancer treatment and my health problems. More work than before, also more worries about money.
3 years ago, I...
lost a very dear friend and my world's turned upside down. Got more militant and more political. My world view changed and my rose coloured glasses were torn off for good. Because of 9/11, Olly proposed 2 days later and we were married in December. On-line and off-line friends attended the very unusual wedding. I face another *weak* chemo therapy, the third this time and get mail from friends overseas. My journal gets more radical.
2 years ago, I...
I didn't make the 5 year remission and recuperation time, AGAIN. Nausea, vomitting, kidney problems and other health issues are part of my life again. Loose my teeth due to cancer treatment and my skin is burned so badly I have to take a break from radiation.
Last year, I...
went through my forth chemo. Hopefully my last. I spent entirely too much time at hospital and was ill too long. At last the realization that I love my husband very much. A real, soul tearing, in the face, forever and ever love. It gives me strength.
So far this year, I...
feel much better. I feel like a human being again and have new clients and work freelance again. Four years and counting.
I try to be a better person. Strive to be a better person as well as trying to see my world and surroundings with a serenity and calmness that is not always easy to manage. And to live to do the *right thing*.
Yesterday, I...
told my husband that I love him and tried to understand my mother's actions.
Today I...
told my husband that I love him and try to recuperate from a demanding day.
Tomorrow, I....
try to acquire a bit of the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference. Every day.
Snurched from almost everyone it seems
elfnut, spacellama :)30 years ago, I...
became a first grader and I loved it. A whole new world opened up with more books, more knowledge, more everything.And my greatgrandmother told my mom, either she gets a divorce and can go on living with her kid or she can stay married and my greatgrandparents take me. For once my mother chose well and I finally got rid of my first step-father thanks to my grammy after he had hit my mom and me for almost two years and had started to take a *special* interest in me.
20 years ago, I...
changed school systems, and despite my mother's and 2nd stepfather's objections blew the chance on an apprenticeship with a cabinet maker and continued on to high school. Journey to Scotland with my frail greatgrandfather, a wonderful journey to my roots. Sweet sixteen and 3/4s and experiencing the first summer of love. The *first time* and resulting oceans of tears when I returned home. My greatgrandfather dies, my one and only father figure is gone.
15 years ago, I...
started university. I knew what I wanted, I knew who I am, after staying in Great Britain for 2 years. I moved out from my parents' house into a shared apartment. My biological father as well as my half sisters and brother contact me, my father wants to see me but I turn him down. My family, my tradition, my roots of who I am are in Scotland and not with them.
10 years ago, I...
move into my own apartment, get a job outside university and start dabbling my fingers into university politics. Part of the student union's committee, as well as freshman tutorial committee and tutor. University is where I thrive, learn and live. I return to Scotland for the summer, soul searching and tear jerking events, in the fall I return home and have an abortion. Got my first on-line account and mail addy. The internet is still a wild, non-image text based community with a handful of users.
5 years ago, I...
Finished my second chemo therapy and go into remission. I work on my PhD and get it, even if it is the last thing I will do. Olly and I are together for 2 years now and we are taking the step on moving into our first joined apartment, new life, new everything, and it works out very smoothly, to the overall surprise of everyone.
4 years ago, I...
quit my job and went freelance due to my cancer treatment and my health problems. More work than before, also more worries about money.
3 years ago, I...
lost a very dear friend and my world's turned upside down. Got more militant and more political. My world view changed and my rose coloured glasses were torn off for good. Because of 9/11, Olly proposed 2 days later and we were married in December. On-line and off-line friends attended the very unusual wedding. I face another *weak* chemo therapy, the third this time and get mail from friends overseas. My journal gets more radical.
2 years ago, I...
I didn't make the 5 year remission and recuperation time, AGAIN. Nausea, vomitting, kidney problems and other health issues are part of my life again. Loose my teeth due to cancer treatment and my skin is burned so badly I have to take a break from radiation.
Last year, I...
went through my forth chemo. Hopefully my last. I spent entirely too much time at hospital and was ill too long. At last the realization that I love my husband very much. A real, soul tearing, in the face, forever and ever love. It gives me strength.
So far this year, I...
feel much better. I feel like a human being again and have new clients and work freelance again. Four years and counting.
I try to be a better person. Strive to be a better person as well as trying to see my world and surroundings with a serenity and calmness that is not always easy to manage. And to live to do the *right thing*.
Yesterday, I...
told my husband that I love him and tried to understand my mother's actions.
Today I...
told my husband that I love him and try to recuperate from a demanding day.
Tomorrow, I....
try to acquire a bit of the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference. Every day.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-11-17 01:51 pm (UTC)Love
Elf
no subject
Date: 2004-11-17 03:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-17 02:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-17 03:53 pm (UTC)Somehow it made me all stronger, though I could very well live without all that shit.
While writing all this down I realized I made some very good decisions in my life, and that up till now, it was filled with lots of fun, laughter and love. I hope it will continue this way, then I can face anything.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-17 07:28 pm (UTC)I've really just started to get to know you these past few months and already i am thrilled to say i know Una and how amazing she is!
my respect for you grows every day!
keep up the hard work and know that even if we don't become close friends or get ot know one another very well... i will be there every step with you!
you are incredible! a good friend of mine whom is an amazing motivational speaker named Phil Doucette (Philly D) once said to me in a speech something i will never forget.. now i will tell it to you...
You're life is worth the world!
*HUGS*
-Angie
no subject
Date: 2004-11-18 01:24 pm (UTC)I don't know if I'm so amazing, I just try to live my life each day. As for not getting to know each other more ... let's try this:
Hi, my name is Una, I'm crazy, OB and LOTR nut, Scaper, SAABer and all in all a madhatter :) And you?
no subject
Date: 2004-11-18 08:37 pm (UTC)Hi, I'm Angie, i too am crazy and an OB and LOTR nut.
I am also high obsessed with BtVS and it's spin off Angel.
these are my obsessions, but i've also been known to enjoy many other various movies and tv shows.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-19 06:46 am (UTC)Never got into Buffy. I tried several times but the series just didn't hook me. But Angel was okay even though it was somehow cut short over here in Germany because of the failing ratings.
I am more a sci-fi fan ... Farscape and Space are my cups of tea. ... oh and horses *lol* I love horses :) In movies, series and in real life :)
no subject
Date: 2004-11-17 08:39 pm (UTC)*HUGS*
no subject
Date: 2004-11-18 01:53 pm (UTC)Thank you Marie :)
Hugs
no subject
Date: 2004-11-18 02:27 am (UTC)Now, when I watch my children with their father- I realise how important fathers are in building up their daughter's confidence.
You are very brave writing about your cancer and your cancer treatment.
I admire you greatly.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-18 01:52 pm (UTC)Perhaps that is true, though I think I had enough father figures in my life. My greatgrandfather was a wonderful man and he was very important in shaping me into the person I am today, but both my stepfathers were total losses even though both insisted on being my *daddies*.
as for admiring me ... admire the ppl who get through stronger chemos than me. Compared to them my chemo was a nice breezy walk through the park.
Hugs,
Una
no subject
Date: 2004-12-11 10:17 am (UTC)I'm overwhelmed by the courage that you have to reveal yourself.
Thankyou for this window into your life.
Kiri