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scottishlassI woke up this morning and I had tears in my eyes as I had dreamt of a friend of mine who was KIA in Iraq over a year ago. I still remember I was happy in the dream but I woke up choking up and crying for about ten minutes afterwards.
It has been a gloomy day so far, cloudy, grey and cold, just like last year around the 16th when I heard that Duggan had been killed. His life was very much that of a triangle, influenced by threes. Con, Duggan and me - the terrible terrors, Duggan's cute three little freckles shaping a perfect triangle underneath his left eye of which Con teased him mercilessly about when we were teens. I still remember Con taunting him, saying that the girls find it cuuuutesy and Duggan's voice, high pitched, then breaking as his voice changed when he was 14 yelling that it is not cute. Remembering, these days all seem to be filled up with a golden light, like the one you can find in late summer on the glens and bens in Scotland. That blue summer sky with the hint of grey of an impending rain shower, the sun glistening off the soft browns of the sandstone houses, enfusing everything in this magic golden light. The air with that tangy smell of salt and adventure and freedom. Do children nowadays still experience this running wild? Like we did in the 70's and 80's? Where we spend the whole day rain or shine outside and not locked away in front of the telly? Anyway, today I woke up thinking of Duggan, childhood friend, partner in many crimes, soldier.
And now listening to Triangle I realize for the first time how fitting that song is for him, he genuinely thought of bringing peace to Iraq. Yeesh ...
Triangle (on MU)
From the small room a little away from town
No matter how I concentrate my vision, all that appears are things that can't be seen.
For example, Of someone who is praying out there beneath the wide skies...
For example, Of you hiding in fear...
The shadows of the dead who had aimlessly hoped for a tomorrow are now satisfied,
As they see only destruction in the future of this world, not of Love.
My eyes; Your hands; Our voices;
Each of us is different because of freedom, therefore there is Life.
My skin; Your mother; Our Love;
The miracle that descends with the tiny pallid wishing star
Grandfather, who was a man of few words, had delivered thoughts (values) to Father..
Extending through time...
Continuing the sincere climb along that harsh path...
So that we, who were born later and are still living,
Who do not know of even the slightest suffering,
Could inherit those thoughts, and deliver them through our limited voices...
Heroes from overseas; The young lady caught in war;
Each of them has the same value;
They should be respected; because this is Life.
With an energetic expression, the posture of the shooter,
Aims the gun, not at others but at our own hearts...
Deeply Deeply (into our hearts)...
the injury engraves itself...
My eyes; Your hands; Our voices;
Each of us is different because of freedom, therefore there is Life.
My skin; Your mother; Our Love;
The miracle that descends with the tiny pallid wishing star
Be it the sorrows of big countries; be it the unfulfilled mother;
Each of them has the same value;
They should be respected; because this is Life
With an energetic expression, the posture of the shooter,
Aims the gun, not at others but at our own hearts...
Using that fearful hand of yours.
Kanashimitte itsuka wa kieteshimau mono nano kana?
Dame iki wa sukoshi dake shiroku nokotte sugu kieta
Would sadness ever disappear?
My sighs appeared white in the air and disappeared quickly.
It has been a gloomy day so far, cloudy, grey and cold, just like last year around the 16th when I heard that Duggan had been killed. His life was very much that of a triangle, influenced by threes. Con, Duggan and me - the terrible terrors, Duggan's cute three little freckles shaping a perfect triangle underneath his left eye of which Con teased him mercilessly about when we were teens. I still remember Con taunting him, saying that the girls find it cuuuutesy and Duggan's voice, high pitched, then breaking as his voice changed when he was 14 yelling that it is not cute. Remembering, these days all seem to be filled up with a golden light, like the one you can find in late summer on the glens and bens in Scotland. That blue summer sky with the hint of grey of an impending rain shower, the sun glistening off the soft browns of the sandstone houses, enfusing everything in this magic golden light. The air with that tangy smell of salt and adventure and freedom. Do children nowadays still experience this running wild? Like we did in the 70's and 80's? Where we spend the whole day rain or shine outside and not locked away in front of the telly? Anyway, today I woke up thinking of Duggan, childhood friend, partner in many crimes, soldier.
And now listening to Triangle I realize for the first time how fitting that song is for him, he genuinely thought of bringing peace to Iraq. Yeesh ...
Triangle (on MU)
From the small room a little away from town
No matter how I concentrate my vision, all that appears are things that can't be seen.
For example, Of someone who is praying out there beneath the wide skies...
For example, Of you hiding in fear...
The shadows of the dead who had aimlessly hoped for a tomorrow are now satisfied,
As they see only destruction in the future of this world, not of Love.
My eyes; Your hands; Our voices;
Each of us is different because of freedom, therefore there is Life.
My skin; Your mother; Our Love;
The miracle that descends with the tiny pallid wishing star
Grandfather, who was a man of few words, had delivered thoughts (values) to Father..
Extending through time...
Continuing the sincere climb along that harsh path...
So that we, who were born later and are still living,
Who do not know of even the slightest suffering,
Could inherit those thoughts, and deliver them through our limited voices...
Heroes from overseas; The young lady caught in war;
Each of them has the same value;
They should be respected; because this is Life.
With an energetic expression, the posture of the shooter,
Aims the gun, not at others but at our own hearts...
Deeply Deeply (into our hearts)...
the injury engraves itself...
My eyes; Your hands; Our voices;
Each of us is different because of freedom, therefore there is Life.
My skin; Your mother; Our Love;
The miracle that descends with the tiny pallid wishing star
Be it the sorrows of big countries; be it the unfulfilled mother;
Each of them has the same value;
They should be respected; because this is Life
With an energetic expression, the posture of the shooter,
Aims the gun, not at others but at our own hearts...
Using that fearful hand of yours.
Kanashimitte itsuka wa kieteshimau mono nano kana?
Dame iki wa sukoshi dake shiroku nokotte sugu kieta
Would sadness ever disappear?
My sighs appeared white in the air and disappeared quickly.
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no subject
Date: 2007-03-24 09:49 pm (UTC)As I have another close friend fighting in Iraq right now, I hope peace comes soon. I think your friend must have been pretty special, and I hope you have lots of wonderful memories to treasure.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-25 12:28 pm (UTC)And yes, somehow they are immortal as long as they live in our hearts and are remembered. Your friend and mine certainly are.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-24 10:11 pm (UTC)Hey, you know what is better about this day? (((((((((((((((((((U)))))))))))))))))
You are loved.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-25 12:55 pm (UTC)Yeah I hope Duggan knows how much he is missed, not only by me but by a lot of ppl.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-25 12:23 am (UTC)The only consolation is that time is really able to heal this kind of wounds. It's true. When years pass, the sharp pain of loss is gone - and you start to recall the person as he/she was (not his/her death) - and mostly good things, that warm you heart.
BTW, I didn't know that "Triangle" has this kind of serious, smart and sad lyrics.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-25 01:04 pm (UTC)BTW, I didn't know that "Triangle" has this kind of serious, smart and sad lyrics.
Oh most Smap songs are like that ... they come along all happy and danceable and then they face whammy you when you actually read the lyrics. But most have a positive note so I deliberately choose several of those songs as this year's chemo soundtrack. I guess the last time I didn't handle my chemo too well was because the music I was constantly listening to when in treatment consisted of metal and Goth rock. Even though it pumps up momentarily it left me really depressed. I won't make that mistake twice.
And I really like their voices, even Nakai's poor attempts of holding notes :)