Keeping the light on ...
Sep. 9th, 2006 01:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scottishlassToday - 5 years ago - I spoke on a transatlantic call with one of my best friends. We had been friends ever since primary school and we talked about how cool it was that we would see each other in just under a week's time. On 12th September, my friend would have her last work day and then she would come over to Germany to visit family and friends. She wanted to meet my boyfriend/husband, wanted to give him her special seal of approval, if she liked him. We wanted to do so much, catch up on so much on what was happening in our lives. We even joked about keeping a light on for her, so she would find her way home after so many years in the US.
That would never happen. 9/11 happened and her remains returned in an urn which I picked up in October 2001. Her mother had asked me to go and I went. In a daze, full of anger, full of madness, unable to grieve. I went through all the motions, the documents, the sealing of the urn that contained more dust from the Towers than actually any bones. When I walked into her apartment, saw the way she had left it on that fateful mornng of 9/11, I almost broke down. I packed the few things that her mother might want and every thing else went to charities. I handled the legal stuff, just as if I had never done anything other than that before I came here. I could not grieve, so much had to be done and when I finally boarded the plane that would finally get me back home, I couldn't remotely fathom that a plane that now brought me home, had taken my friends life. At that time, if that plane had been hijacked to be used as an instrument of death, I would have killed those responsible. I was mad, and still are, and I was not rational at that time, I was crazy. But I had to do something important, I had to bring her back home. My friend returned finally. A month late.
I miss her laughter, her cheekiness and overall I miss her sunny smile. We went through thick and thin, cried together and more over, laughed together. I still miss her and am still angry that they took her away from me. Took a special person in a mindless act of terror.
She will be forever the princess of the tower, always residing in my heart and mind. I hope one day, we will meet again, laugh again, get up to silly pranks again.
...
I still keep that light on.
That would never happen. 9/11 happened and her remains returned in an urn which I picked up in October 2001. Her mother had asked me to go and I went. In a daze, full of anger, full of madness, unable to grieve. I went through all the motions, the documents, the sealing of the urn that contained more dust from the Towers than actually any bones. When I walked into her apartment, saw the way she had left it on that fateful mornng of 9/11, I almost broke down. I packed the few things that her mother might want and every thing else went to charities. I handled the legal stuff, just as if I had never done anything other than that before I came here. I could not grieve, so much had to be done and when I finally boarded the plane that would finally get me back home, I couldn't remotely fathom that a plane that now brought me home, had taken my friends life. At that time, if that plane had been hijacked to be used as an instrument of death, I would have killed those responsible. I was mad, and still are, and I was not rational at that time, I was crazy. But I had to do something important, I had to bring her back home. My friend returned finally. A month late.
I miss her laughter, her cheekiness and overall I miss her sunny smile. We went through thick and thin, cried together and more over, laughed together. I still miss her and am still angry that they took her away from me. Took a special person in a mindless act of terror.
She will be forever the princess of the tower, always residing in my heart and mind. I hope one day, we will meet again, laugh again, get up to silly pranks again.
...
I still keep that light on.
