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December 4th .. only twenty days till Christmas and I still haven't decorated the house yet. Okay, I put up the customary three fir branch wreaths on the windows of our downstairs floor but apart from that and buying two poinsettas I haven't done anything. It is such a hectic time and I'm too pissed off with all the ppl around me shopping like crazy and making this time of reflection and peace into some frenzied time of materialism. Where the heck did my favourite time of the year go? With baking your own cookies? making your own crafted gifts? When you give hand made presents you are considered cheap, even if it is a well crafted sweater or quilt or anything. All ppl want are presents with a price tag and I'm so boycotting this.
What else happened? Last week I had my final exam for this year as well as after 5 years of remission and yesterday my PET/PSA results came in. After 16 years (since late 1996) I am now cured of cancer but still have a 25% chance to get it again in the future. Still, it's something. The first time in 16 years, where I have been without the scare of tumors in my breast for five consecutive years. YAY!
Strangely though, I feel kind of numb inside. There's no booty dance or full blown happiness. I guess my mind has to catch up yet that this scare is over for the time being. I'm officially a survivor now.
What else happened? Last week I had my final exam for this year as well as after 5 years of remission and yesterday my PET/PSA results came in. After 16 years (since late 1996) I am now cured of cancer but still have a 25% chance to get it again in the future. Still, it's something. The first time in 16 years, where I have been without the scare of tumors in my breast for five consecutive years. YAY!
Strangely though, I feel kind of numb inside. There's no booty dance or full blown happiness. I guess my mind has to catch up yet that this scare is over for the time being. I'm officially a survivor now.
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Date: 2012-12-05 09:59 pm (UTC)So, so happy for you!
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Date: 2012-12-05 10:25 pm (UTC)And you are right without health what is the point? It is the most precious gift you can have and I will never ever take it for granted. Life is too fickle and precarious for that.
So this year, my Christmas wish is health for all my family and friends (on- and off-line).
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Date: 2012-12-05 10:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-05 10:20 pm (UTC)We are survivors, we battled that shitty illness and won! :D
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Date: 2012-12-07 04:55 am (UTC)It's funny, though. In a 2-year period I got divorced, had cancer and lost a beloved cat much too young to cancer. And if you told me I could change any one of those things, I would bring Lorna Doone back. I certainly wouldn't want to be married to my ex again, and cancer taught me things I probably needed to learn, but losing Lorna so young? That still feels so unfair.
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Date: 2012-12-07 05:30 am (UTC)I know what you mean and I'm sorry about Lorna Doone. When Chica was diagnosed with cancer in my first year of remission after my last chemo I was like ... wtf? I can deal with this shit but please not her and I would have gladly traded another chemo for a happy healthy long life for her because I knew I could somehow manage that better than watching Chica die.
I guess such a grave illness puts a lot of things into perspective and it is up to us to make the best out of it. Sometimes we succeed, sometimes we don't but somehow there is always some kernel of something we have learned that stays with us and is woven into the fabric that defines us.
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Date: 2012-12-05 10:43 pm (UTC)CONGRANT! My mother had a similar scare a few years back and I must admit that while I haven't had such a scare (I do my check ups like my mom's doc recommended) I know how brave you guys are! Congrats! *booty dance in your honor*
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Date: 2012-12-05 10:53 pm (UTC)Glad your mom battled cancer as well. And yes, please go to the regular check ups. When I first was diagnosed with it, I was 29 and thought why me? I'm too young for this. You are never too young for taking care of your health :)
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Date: 2012-12-05 11:43 pm (UTC)I agree - handmade gifts are the best (and most expensive) because they cost and effort, not just money. I like to bake things to give away.
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Date: 2012-12-05 11:54 pm (UTC)Yep hand crafted and self-made gifts are so much more personal. Especially when you make a quilt that takes hours and hours of planning and sewing and stuff. There is so much love poured in.
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Date: 2012-12-05 11:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-06 12:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-06 12:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-06 12:49 am (UTC)I even made two little quilts with names for a friend of mine and her dogs. Now all three have matching quilts and they love them.
Well I'm off to bed now (it's a quarter to 2 AM over here, so any replies will be tomorrow morning :) Take care and good night :)
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Date: 2012-12-06 01:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-06 05:33 pm (UTC)And I'm Christmas-shopped out, even though I haven't actually gone to a store for the purpose. The things I'm looking forward to this year are just hanging with the family, playing some board games, singing some songs while my uncle plays his guitar. Good times. Some cool weather would be nice too.
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Date: 2012-12-07 05:39 am (UTC)I'm just glad that I now have almost the same chance again to either stay healthy or get ill like any other normal person. I will never be 'healthy' healthy as I suffer from too many side effects from those 5 chemos I had but at least I have a relatively clean slate.
With so many survivors in your immediate family I don't need to tell you to go to regular check up, right? *hugs*
My mother in law is getting a new quilt which is almost finished and a friend of mine gets a kilt for his birthday which is still in the planning phase as I have to score the pleats. But I think I'm all finished with Christmas presents for this year :)
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Date: 2012-12-07 04:40 pm (UTC)yeah, I never got that, like a price tag shows how much people care about you *shrugs*
that is such great news *huggles*
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Date: 2012-12-07 07:30 pm (UTC)Thank you :)