Dec. 5th, 2012

scottishlass: (Dogs Cenour Evil Santa)
December 4th .. only twenty days till Christmas and I still haven't decorated the house yet. Okay, I put up the customary three fir branch wreaths on the windows of our downstairs floor but apart from that and buying two poinsettas I haven't done anything. It is such a hectic time and I'm too pissed off with all the ppl around me shopping like crazy and making this time of reflection and peace into some frenzied time of materialism. Where the heck did my favourite time of the year go? With baking your own cookies? making your own crafted gifts? When you give hand made presents you are considered cheap, even if it is a well crafted sweater or quilt or anything. All ppl want are presents with a price tag and I'm so boycotting this.

What else happened? Last week I had my final exam for this year as well as after 5 years of remission and yesterday my PET/PSA results came in. After 16 years (since late 1996) I am now cured of cancer but still have a 25% chance to get it again in the future. Still, it's something. The first time in 16 years, where I have been without the scare of tumors in my breast for five consecutive years. YAY!
Strangely though, I feel kind of numb inside. There's no booty dance or full blown happiness. I guess my mind has to catch up yet that this scare is over for the time being. I'm officially a survivor now.

of the moment

Yozora no mukou ni wa mou asu ga matteiru

ano toki kimi ga ushinatta mono wa
yozora no mukou no hoshi ni natta
nurashita hoho wa itsuka kawaite
kitto habatakeru kara

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