Minors and NC17 rated fics
May. 6th, 2005 12:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scottishlassNormally I don't try to repeat myself but after receiving a couple of emails from youngsters who have been asking about my NC17 fics as well as telling me some things about their private lives, I'm reposting something I wrote 3 years back in my capacity as webmiss of m.i.t.m.:
Is the sex really like I described it in smut scenes?
NO!
Anyway, is sex great? Yes, if both partners know what they are doing, it can be. Is sex perfect? No way. Let me give you some adjectives sex is mostly:
messy, clumsy, awkward, embarrassing, painful, ridiculous and a lot more.
That said, of course sex can also be fun, arousing and very meaningful. But most of the time it is more clumsy than meaningful and more awkward and messy than really sexy and fun. Why? Because sex can only be good if both partners a) want it and b) feel ready that they should do this great step in sharing intimacy with another person, that it is the right time and the right place.
If a girl doesn't feel she is ready for this step, then NO is a NO, not a 'maybe' and most of all not a 'yes'. Don't listen to what your boy friend tells you ... or the advice that your girl-friends who have all done 'it' already have to give you. If a girl feels too young for it, then listen to your gut feeling. And if your boyfriend tells you: "If you really love me you would sleep with me..." then send him to hell. He is just keen on the sex. Give him twenty Dollars/Pounds/Euro and send him into the nearest direction to a brothel or tell him to use his ten little fingers.
Love and sex is not the same ... you can love a person and still stay with that person although the sex might be boring and attrocious, or you can have great sex with a person that you don't love.
One's first time should be when the time is right, when you feel you are mature enough to handle the situation (and I mean not only the sex but also the protection - pill, condom etc. - against pregnancy AND disease) and when you feel you want to share this with another person.
Most of the time what we NC17 writers are writing is the ideal ... the locos amoenus (beautiful place) where sex is great and not messy (you'll find out soon enough whether or not you've ever used a condom, or have tried to look sexy even if all your long hair gets in the way). We as writers take all the good experiences and roll it into one but there is no such thing as instant gratification, most of the time you as the woman have to tell your man how to do things. Remember, men only have their own experience and an orgasm for them feels totally different to what a woman experiences.
In case, you young girls out there start to have sex, and you feel something is not right or is missing, tell your mate, otherwise he won't change anything and you'll never come close to the beautiful place where your toes curl up and you feel like you are exploding inside.
And another thing ... the rating NC-17 isn't just there to gather more reviews but it has a reason. If you are younger than 17, stay away from it. As you can see it can confuse you and might lead you onto a path that you really do not like following and where your body might already be but where your mind still isn't.
Concluding, all I can say is: be mature about what you read and stay off it until it applies to you, and that also applies to having sex.
Is the sex really like I described it in smut scenes?
NO!
Anyway, is sex great? Yes, if both partners know what they are doing, it can be. Is sex perfect? No way. Let me give you some adjectives sex is mostly:
messy, clumsy, awkward, embarrassing, painful, ridiculous and a lot more.
That said, of course sex can also be fun, arousing and very meaningful. But most of the time it is more clumsy than meaningful and more awkward and messy than really sexy and fun. Why? Because sex can only be good if both partners a) want it and b) feel ready that they should do this great step in sharing intimacy with another person, that it is the right time and the right place.
If a girl doesn't feel she is ready for this step, then NO is a NO, not a 'maybe' and most of all not a 'yes'. Don't listen to what your boy friend tells you ... or the advice that your girl-friends who have all done 'it' already have to give you. If a girl feels too young for it, then listen to your gut feeling. And if your boyfriend tells you: "If you really love me you would sleep with me..." then send him to hell. He is just keen on the sex. Give him twenty Dollars/Pounds/Euro and send him into the nearest direction to a brothel or tell him to use his ten little fingers.
Love and sex is not the same ... you can love a person and still stay with that person although the sex might be boring and attrocious, or you can have great sex with a person that you don't love.
One's first time should be when the time is right, when you feel you are mature enough to handle the situation (and I mean not only the sex but also the protection - pill, condom etc. - against pregnancy AND disease) and when you feel you want to share this with another person.
Most of the time what we NC17 writers are writing is the ideal ... the locos amoenus (beautiful place) where sex is great and not messy (you'll find out soon enough whether or not you've ever used a condom, or have tried to look sexy even if all your long hair gets in the way). We as writers take all the good experiences and roll it into one but there is no such thing as instant gratification, most of the time you as the woman have to tell your man how to do things. Remember, men only have their own experience and an orgasm for them feels totally different to what a woman experiences.
In case, you young girls out there start to have sex, and you feel something is not right or is missing, tell your mate, otherwise he won't change anything and you'll never come close to the beautiful place where your toes curl up and you feel like you are exploding inside.
And another thing ... the rating NC-17 isn't just there to gather more reviews but it has a reason. If you are younger than 17, stay away from it. As you can see it can confuse you and might lead you onto a path that you really do not like following and where your body might already be but where your mind still isn't.
Concluding, all I can say is: be mature about what you read and stay off it until it applies to you, and that also applies to having sex.
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no subject
Date: 2005-05-05 11:18 pm (UTC)"or you can have great sex with a person that you don't love."
is it really possible?.. well i guess you need lust then. nevermind.. my brain is fried from too much studying. or not enough. :-/
no subject
Date: 2005-05-05 11:51 pm (UTC)Sometimes that is okay, but in the long run I'd trade every minute of that toe-curling-hooyah kind of sex with any less gratifying making love with the man I love.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-06 02:25 am (UTC)Interesting. I will ponder on your wisdom.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-06 05:57 am (UTC)I don't know if this is common or not even though a friend of mine also had the same experience, but we are both very close and could be taken as emotional twins, so that experience doesn't really count. I don't know if this will be the same for you or anyone else.
For me it simply is. The connection with my man will remain and even increase, it runs very deep and makes my whole being hum while having sex with the lust object only made my body hum for a short while afterwards and that was it.