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Una's Rants
Aug. 1st, 2003 03:28 pmRant #23
30th May 2005
Of politeness, respect and education.
Even though the site is now running smoothly there are always some ppl who find fault, even if the fault is on their side of the computer and not with the site itself. But who cares, after all we are the personal slaves to jump through fiery hoops to service you - no matter what.
First off, I really ...and I mean I REALLY hate it when I format the first chapter with the right title and all and then the author after having seen the story was updated on the site, deleting the whole thing and then uploading their own NON-FORMATTED chapter again. HELLO??? Anyone having read the submission guidelines recently?!
Secondly, idling stories that have 0 (as in ZERO and NULL) chapters and hanging around in our database for ages because the author is too lazy to look up the submission guidelines to see how the chapters are added. Instead of closing a window why not clicking on ADD CHAPTER for a change and copy and paste the whole sheebang in the form that is coming up??
Thirdly, authors who ignore my mails asking them to read the submission guidelines on formatting and then after three weeks (and three mails) warning them I will delete their stories in the fourth week, complaining to me in emails after five weeks that I deleted their stories and getting nasty about it.
Fourth, I really do not like netspeak or mobile phone text message speak. It is just abominable and RAPES the English language. To quote my old English teacher: If you can't write properly, why do you want to write stories anyway? I don't mean the occasional typo, heck everyone does it but I really get my blood pressure up when I see stuff like this: hElL0 im a nEtSpEEk geek & luv u. And if I catch one author again of changing back their story title to capital and non capital lettering WITHIN a word after I have changed it already, I won't only delete the whole story, I will delete the whole account and ban their IP number.
Fifth, folks ... we are all human here, there are always glitches when using highly advanced technical appliances. When the site is not updated on Mondays because a) I don't have the time or b) my account hiccups again, doesn't mean the world is going to explode. Just take yourself off the internet and go out for a change, take a walk in a park, or along the beach. Same goes for the awards, the forum and other features of m.i.t.m. We are all human here and while being human mistakes can happen ON SITE as well as at the users/readers end. So stop bugging me and others if AOL is not able to update the site within 24 hours when a new update/new splash page is already loaded. I am not responsible that you are still using AOHELL instead of a good internet provider.
Sixth, and this is repetitio ad nauseam: WE DO NOT HOST CHARACTER BASED STORIES!! I'm willing to bend this rule to a certain extent, I am even willing to allow a lot of AU, but when a story is completely of any of OB's characters without even a tiny mention of OB himself ANYWHERE in that damn story, then the story won't be approved. What is so difficult to understand???
Seventh, please do not always and always nominate the same old stories. There are a lot of other wonderful stories up on the site, so please give them a chance. I can only add so many img alt-tags to the little yellow stars. I have come across stories that have won in different categories but up to five times. Isn't that a bit of an overkill?
Having said all that, don't expect me or Dom or Elf to jump through aforementioned hoops of fire every time you come across a problem or didn't read the guidelines carefully. We are not the punching balls of your bad mood. We are human, with our personal feelings, our personal perception and with our own personal lives. m.i.t.m. is JUST A WEBPAGE. It is nice you see it as your home, but put the whole thing into perspective, it is just another fanfic page and there is a life outside the virtual web.
Rant #22
14th February 2005
I have deleted a couple of new submissions after a month of requesting the authors to check their stories and fix the HTML formatting. As my repeated mails were ignored (and don't tell me, you didn't get any, the mails were blind-copied to another admin as well), I saw it fit to clear out our database space.
yeah, yeah I know ... I'm a bitch ... but you know ... I like being a bitch
and this bitch is driving the bus.
Sorry about the delays in the fanfic challenge this week but I got a denial of service attack on my websites and mailboxes. Good thing is almost all was directed to the webspace and not the databases, so if you tried to reach this site and couldn't load the site from your cache, you were caught in the middle of one of those DOS attacks.
Rant #21
24th September 2004
Oh-kay ... this is not really a rant ... well it is but I am not really pissed off ... just slightly peeved.
Here goes:
I understand that ppl are busy, I also understand that sometimes you just can't be bothered with answering mails, I get all that, I do the same. BUT!
If an author submits a story and I mail said author to please pre-format properly, even explaining how to and so on, and my mails get ignored and the submission will not be formatted properly, then I'll get peeved. By closing your eyes against the problem, the problem won't go away. I will just after two weeks, delete your submission. No discussion.
Look, I'm not really asking much if you pre-format your chapters. It isn't so hard to ask to insert a <p> into every paragraph and between dialogue lines, is there? Or do you want to have your stories presented like this?
[...]"Orlando, come in come in, Gwen should be right out just have a sit and make yourself at home." "Allan where are we going tonight?" Orlando asks as he sits down. "We are going to a dinner theather called "Lord of the Dance", Gwen you look absolutley stunning!" Orlando spun around to see the beautifulest woman he had ever seen...she had straight brown hair down to her butt, baby blue eyes with a hint of green in them, she wore this pair of black dress pants with a white collar shirt and a black sweater over that and it fit her just perfectly. "Hello Gwen..I'm Orlando pleased to meet you, Allan talks about you all the time."part of original submitted story, author didn't bother to contact me for two weeks now.
I really do not have the time to format your stories, no way in hell will I beta or format for you. It is not because I'm a nasty bitch (quote from an email) or because I love to put the m.i.t.m. writers through the wringer, it is a simple matter of both time constrictions and common courtesy. Time constrictions on my side and common courtesy from the writer towards me. Why? Let me reiterate: My site, my rules. If you cannot accept that, then please by all means, feel free to take yourself off to another archive. But remember most OB archives now ask their authors also to pre-format. Tough isn't it?
Secondly, please read the submission guidelines carefully. I didn't just compile these just to fill any blanks on the site. They are important. But obviously some ppl don't bother or why is it that every sixth story that gets submitted is a Troy/POTC/LOTR fic? And if I inform the author with a nice email thanking them for the submission but alas we do not host character based stories as applied in our submission guidelines, I get emails back bitching at me for being stupid not to host your wonderfully writ stories and I should make an exception.
Hello???!!!! You don't go to a vegetarian restaurant and order a medium steak, do you?
Anyway, these are the pet peeves that have come up ... yet again. Sometimes I wonder if certain ppl are able to read AND comprehend what they are reading, otherwise I can't explain to myself why I always get wrongly submitted stories or non-formatted stories.
Rant #20
02nd August 2004
Idiot workers ...
I live in a cul-e-sac kind of street with huge, old chestnut trees and small villas and five to six storey houses. Some nouveau riche idiot now is dismantling a beautiful Bauhaus villa further down the street and the workers there have to move their heavy machinery on a very small patch of land as not to disrupt the normal day to day dealing on my street.
Well DISRUPTING THEY ARE!!!!
For the third time in as many weeks they have capped the electricity cables that run in the ground. They are supposed to dig a new cellar and every time these idiot workers start to dig they cut off either our electricity or our telephones. I have had enough. Especially as the last two days were really REALLY hot and living wihtout a fan or AC was HELL.
So now you know why the m.i.t.m. update is a day late. I just hope I can stay online long enough to send a complaint to our local representative and to the road building department. :s
Rant #19
01st July 2004
Strange days ...
I couldn't get online as something had happened with my DSL provider (probably some flash burn as we had thunderstorms over here), so I couldn't update m.i.t.m. this morning. When I got online at last this afternoon, I prepared the update, ignoring all incoming mail ... sigh ... ten ppl complaining about where today's update was
Jesus folks, you cannot be bothered to leave feedback to authors and webmiss on good days but you have to complain about ONE late update?
What do you think you are? Or better who do you think I am? Your personal slave? I think NOT!!!
I know you are eager to read the newest chapters of your favourite stories, but for crissake, I'm only human. And if you are so eager to read the updated chapters why do you not bother to go to the story pages YOURSELF, look for the starting letter of the name of your fave author and have a look if there is an UPDATED sign with the current date attached to the stories??
The site and how it is set up is really easy to follow and navigate, any dummy could look that up.
Una
Want to rant, comment or shout back? - do it here
Rant #18
17th June 2004
Underage sex
Please read the submission guidelines carefully, we do not allow any stories on the archive that feature under age heroines falling in and making love to OB or any other real life personality. I don't care how wonderfully you think the story is written or how tastefully you have set up the smut scene or that I'm impairing your freedom of speech, I will not host a story where an adult has sex with a minor. PERIOD.
No discussion, and no coaxing. This is my site, I pay for it and I call the shots.
I really do not want to have m.i.t.m. appearing on any pedophile index or the source of rumours that OB or any other real actor had something with a minor. You know how fickle media is nowadays, things get printed before they get verified (if at all).
Look, we are already threading a fine line here between a libel suit and just some harmless fun. If any of the actors featured here on the site gets a chip on their shoulder and want us closed down, we will. I don't have the money, time or energy to fight a cease and desist order.
Besides, I really DON'T LIKE reading about a preppy bouncy, squealy 15 year old to have sex with OB or anyone else. The thought alone already gives me the gaggings of disgust. Call me old fashioned or plain mean, I don't want that crap on my site.
Una
Rant #17
12th June 2004
Plagiarism - does any other thing smell as foul?
This is in direct response to the fact that I pulled a story off man.in.the.mirror after hearing what this author has done before with an author and her story:
Gilraen: Today, I've been kicked out from a site I thought was respectable, because one of the writers hosted there is friends with the moderators. There's been a very unpleasant discussion with this writer months ago, and to me it was over. Unfortunately, hackers are spamming my mail and sending me viruses since I've fought with her. The mail arrived today from this site said that they can't host my stories because they are afraid that I copied them somewhere else. Good. Give me the link to the original story, I'd love to see that. But they have no link because my stories are original works. And as if it wasn't enough, they're offending my co-writer as well, saying that our stories are copied, even if she wasn' involved in the fight with this nasty writer who loves to victimize herself.
Miriel, I think you should be ashamed of yourself. You're 40 and all you can do is live through a computer and flaming people. I tried to be civil and talk to you. You just said your friends to kick me out (and this is the second time, there'll not be a third, believe me) with no evidence at all. And I'm so sure that soon flamers will start bothering me again. I have evidences that you're telling them to send me viruses and mean mails. Yes, yes. I know everything, don't worry, no need to be try and appear like a little angel.
You're evil. Evil and mean. If you were mature (and I was hoping that you could be, since you're 40) this story would be over months ago. Like it was for me. Do you remember what Megiliel called you? I can remember very well. She was so right.
Now, if you want to excuse me, I'm going on hiatus for some days. I don't want to publish anymore for now, even if I have tons of fanfictions. I don't want because when I see those things, I prefer to stay alone. This, because it's glaring that mean people will never stop bothering me. They said that if I'd change my site, my nickname and everything else they'd stop. To me, this is blackmail. And I'm not into those things. I'm 23 and I am more mature of someone else.
Thank you to everyone of you for reading this, even if I know that no one is even interested in this site.
Now, before you fall for this stunt let me tell you something. She copied a story off m.i.t.m. almost word for word, changed the character names and some places and then showed it off as her own work. Not on m.i.t.m. but on Elves & Men and they are a fairly laid back bunch over there but as soon as they read both versions, they pulled her (Gilraen's) story.
This new story was different, well written and all and I'm sorry that the co-author is the only one suffering here, but I had no other way of action than to pull the new submission. It is stated in our disclaimer that plagiarism is not allowed and I cannot determine if this is her own original work or not.
She may have changed her ways, but unless I'm not 100 % certain that IS HER ORIGINAL work, then I am unwilling to host it. Not only to protect my site but also all those struggling fanfic and original fic authors out there.
I cannot deny the fact that Miriel is my friend, but this incident has nothing to do with that fact. I got information to consider and having read Miriel's works and knowing she uses a lot local colour to enhance her stories, a lot of situations and places in both stories didn't quite mesh. Things only Miriel knew about also appeared in the supposed plagiated story. Coincidence? I think not.
Despite Gilraen's thinking of the opposite, m.i.t.m. IS a respectable site because we take care of our authors, we try to protect them from claims of plagiarism (if they are unfounded) as well as trying to keep their work from being plagiarised.
Una
Rant #16
18th August 2003
Viruses, Worms and Trojans
First off, viruses are not so much around anymore. They were used to hog onto the DOS system that is not used anymore in the more recent Microsoft Operating Systems, like Windows ME, Windows NT, 2000 and XP. Worms and Trojans have replaced the viruses of old, and although they do not carry the name 'virus' anymore, they are just as awful and destructive as a virus. Worms and Trojans use little cracks in your system shield to hibernate, copy and destruct. They come in many shapes and sized, as email attachments, as a installation on a website or in a file, you downloaded from the net. To protect yourself from these, USE an Anti-virus programme. It is better to pay for Norton or McAfee, than to be sorry because your PC won't boot anymore or your email address books have been effected and you lose friends because you are sending out worms without you noticing it.
The most recent, and nasty worm is KLEZ. It is a worm that is around for about a year now and has been manipulated into many forms by bloody idiots. It attacks especially computers with Outlook as the email programme and can once it is on your HDD, spy out your outbox and adress book. But it also takes adresses from ICQ and AIM and can damage your files. Everytime you send out an email, KLEZ will attach itself to such an email (without you realizing it) and sends copies of itself to addresses in your address book and outbox. Mostly with subject lines you might have used or received. It even uses email addresses from your address book (it fakes an SMTP address) to appear to be sent out by these ppl, to send back to you. So that it appears that someone you know deliberately send you a virus, but if you have a look at the complete header of the email with all IP and SMTP info, you'll see that you sent it out and not any of your friends. Really nasty that :s
How to get rid of it:
Best to install an Antivirus programme like McAfee and Norton Antivirus AND updating it every two days. Run a complete check on your computer, also the partitions where you might not think KLEZ (or any other worm, trojan or virus) can hide.
You can also check your C:\Windows\System\ folder (or for NT C:\Winnt\System32) for anything that is named something like Wink.exe Delete it .. or better yet delete it through your updated Anti-virus programme
Currently, there is also lovesan out ... it is part KLEZ and part trojan to use a back door in all NT OS, like NT, 2000 and XP. It can really screw up your PC, you should run a Windows update if you use an NT OS, to close the backdoor and also with an antivirus programme to get rid of the trojan. Otherwise your PC's error messages will cascade up until your main boot sector on your hard drive won't let you start Windows .. AT ALL. You'll have to delete all data on your HDD and install Windows anew, and if you have all your data on C:\ instead of another partition, then you lose your data. Just because some idiot child who thinks of him/herself as a super-hack and rebel against Microsoft created a nasty bug that only hurts you, the user, and not Microsoft at all.
I hope that helps, if you have more questions, please feel free to ask.
Info on viruses and anti-virus programmes, also current virus warnings:
http://www.symantec.com
http://www.mcafee.com
Rant #15
04th August 2003
The inability to read ... & netiquette
Ever wondered why ppl don't get all the information needed despite the fact that it is RIGHT THERE in front of their eyes?
Well, a prime example was seen in one of the guestbooks again of one of our writers. Some little girl(s) anonymously *yeah right, dream on - snicker* leaving flaming entries about Orli being gay in a FICTIONAL story. It's fictional, chicas --- FICTIONAL!! And for those who obviously do not know what this term means, here is a quick refresh from Webster's:
1 a : something invented by the imagination or feigned; specifically : an invented story
b : fictitious literature (as novels or short stories) c : a work of fiction; especially : NOVEL
2 a : an assumption of a possibility as a fact irrespective of the question of its truth
b : a useful illusion or pretense
3 : the action of feigning or of creating with the imagination Is the story labelled NC17? CHECK! Is the story labelled SLASH? DOUBLE-CHECK!! Do we have an explanation of the term on our site? Triple CHECK!
But despite these facts and despite the fact that the author went to length to WARN any readers at the very top of the story, some petty minded beings needed to speak up. Folks, come on if you don't like male/male relationships (since the 1960's widely on and off-line known as SLASH because of the /) portrayed in a fictional story, then leave it the hell ALONE. Don't open it, even when your finger itches.
I think in the same category - namely that of 'showing off as a doofus brain' - falls HOT LINKING aka remote linking. Don't know what this is? Well hot or remote linking is linking to an image or file from a different web site to your own. Sounds pretty pathetic right? It would be, if there wasn't something like bandwidth. Bandwidth?, you ask.
Bandwidth is an allowance from your webhost of how many times files (images, html files, media files) are allowed to be opened and downloaded. Some have lots of bandwidth on offer, some have less but ALL charge if you exceed this bandwidth. Every time you come to m.i.t.m. some of our bandwidth is reduced, every time you open a story on the site, bandwidth is reduced. Every time some schmock from another site other than m.i.tm. accesses a story or wallpaper on m.i.t.m. via that other website, yes you guessed it - bandwidth is reduced.
Now some ppl who wanted to make it really easy for themselves, hot linked to files on m.i.t.m. to show off on their sites. Every time their sites were loaded stuff from us got loaded too... and BINGO OUR bandwidth got reduced. Wallpapers of the 1024 resolution were used as backgrounds on other sites, and yes, OUR bandwidth was reduced. So much so, that I had to pay an additional 100 to 120 USD each month to my normal fee of 40 USD, and believe me we have lots of bandwidth. So I have disabled the rightclick on the story sites and the wallpapers. I really, really am fed up with how ppl seem to think they can leech off others, may it be bandwidth, imagination or what not. Additionally, I have added a donation button. It is not a must or rule to donate, just a show of support to m.i.t.m. to stay alive, because frankly, I can't cough up so much money anymore, not after over a year of doing it and getting bullshit from readers and writers because I am offline to tend to my REAL LIFE. I'm not at school or university, I work for a living, have to pay all my bills and also have to keep my partner happy, and that will always come first.
Rant #14
17th May 2003
Not really a rant but a huge THANK YOU to all the writers and readers of this site. Now that our first anniversary has come and gone, it is time to take a resumé of the last year.
A lot has happened, first off I would have never thought this fanfic archive would grow as much as it has in the past year, especially not that it would generate so many visitors per day. We had 1088 visitors per day on average with 800 to 1000 unique hits per day during the first 365 days of being on-line. That is a lot, considering we only have a few graphic downloads and the majority is only text files.
Atm we have 3.391 fanfiction files that amount to roughly 66 MB diskspace. That is only the fanfiction we are offering, not included are the reviewbooks, the graphics, the info and the lot, that make the frame of the site. This is you, the writers, who done it, who have coaxed their creative juices, twisted the arms of their muses, burned the midnight oil on many nights. You have done it, I only am the archivist, together with my wonderful staff.
Speaking of which, I want to say THANK YOU to my staff, to Claudia, who relentlessly pursues the promotion of the site, dealing with affiliates, link sites and helping me with the reviewbooks. Also to Dom, who takes care of the beta readers that are offering their services on the site. She came up with lots of wonderful ideas and features you see on this site. Then, last but not least, Nedra, who came on board not so long ago and who now takes care of the new story submissions. Thank you, ladies :)
This past year was a lot of fun and a lot of aggrivation, especially as I had to deal with a lot of crap, from my chemo last year to my broken arm now, as well as technical difficulties with my web account company. But mostly it has been fun, not because of the praise we got, the awards we won, but for you, the readers and writers. The joy to offer a place where you can meet and read and write about our favourite actor. Seeing the first tentative steps of a fledgling author and then him or her taking flight with more and more intense, amusing or tear jerking stories, brought more happiness and also satisfaction at least to me, than all the site's awards and recognition, that is only a side benefit.
Let me tell you something about how the day to day dealings of this site work, as some ppl have sent me emails asking how to create/maintain a web site. Contrary to some ppl's believes, it's not magic but hard work ;-)
If a writer submits a new story, s/he most likely will submit the story to Nedra, who then puts the pre-formatted story into its right template, names it and sends it to me. I get the file, Claudia will create the review books (she speaks German as they are in German too, this comes in handy), I add the URL to the reviewbook and also change the appearance and language of the review book and then will add any other links for further chapters if I have them present. Then the new story/writer will be put into the author's list, linked with the story, adding the summary, rating provided by the author and also put it up on the updates page. Then I upload everything. Even with only ten new stories/chapters per day, these updates can take up as much as 30 files that had to be added, changed or otherwise updated. So even if you, the reader, only have an update of five all new stories and five chapter updates to existing stories, I have added and changed more than just the ten files altogether. Sometimes I work as long as 3 hours on updates, especially if there are more than one new chapter to a story. No magic ...just daily work ... with my professional work and real life on top of it :) We here at m.i.t.m. do it for nothing, no money, no recognition, no fancy awards. We have fun providing you with a place to read and write fanfiction, that's all. And we hope, or better I hope, we will be providing you with this service in the hopefully many years to come :)
Now, to something else. I have been getting emails, telling me I have been lying and/or nicking designs from another archive, or all in all that this archive sucks. Let me tell you, what you see is what I have created by using SuperNotePad and my wee ol' graphics programme. No nicking, no inspiration taken from someone else. I am also aware that some ppl just like to stir crap, and most of the time I just trash these emails, and just forget about it, but if these emails try to create some sort of 'war' between two archives, I'm getting riled up. In no way was my last rant directed at a particular fanfiction ARCHIVE, but at comments made to me in emails and chats. We here at m.i.t.m. really have neither the time nor the inclination to start anything, let alone a fic archive war. But apparently some ppl just love to stir shit and create something out of the blue, twisting and misreading comments made by one person and relaying it to me and others in a different manner. Let me tell you, it doesn't work. If I rant from now on, I won't hesitate to name the names of those who sent me both well meaning emails as well as abusive ones, to make certain for all that I'm meaning individuals not ppl connected to archives alltogether. So there, no more shit stirring or you will get some nasty payback from me and probably from those you were trying to fiddle with and against.
Una
Rant #13
01st April 2003
Okayyyy - I first thought about doing an April's Fool joke, but I then re-considered. I think it wouldn't be too funny, if ppl came across the page and it would say "We have closed indefinitely". But as I said, I re-considered, because after recent events, I really do not feel like funning a lot.
Alright, let me re-iterate for all of you readers, writers and haters alike. The m.i.tm. staff and especially not me are on a private crusade against any other fanfic archives. Frankly, we don't have the TIME to do so. If for example I had more time, I wouldn't be so far behind the updates, thank you very much.
First off, pictures available publicly from different magazines as well as websites are FREE. Yes, ladies and gents, if one site uses a particular image first and another site uses the same but with changes (from 17th March onward), you can bitch all you like but implying that m.i.t.m. might nicked your image is ridiculous. If we went as far as this I might reply, that a) we had the pic first up on our splash page (3rd of March) and b) if you already fret about an image I might start bitching about colour coding, does the colours white, black and red tell you anything? Or the fact that features that were unique to this site are now also offered on others? - Thought so. So I will ignore from now on any petty complaining emails. If you do not have the whole facts, keep your trap shut and your brain engaged.
Second, if an author of this site badmouthes this site and the writers featured here, it is annoying, but unless it isn't done on the site, I tend to ignore it. Of course, if that continues and ppl take exception to it, esp. staff members, it will be dealt with. We did not ask a certain author to remove her stories from our site, but that author ASKED to have her stories removed.
Third, if a writer who also happens to be a staff member of this site gives a review to a story not on this site and it is not considered favourably, the review is the personal opinion of the staff member and not of the whole site. Any staffmember knows that giving an opinion/review speaks for themselves and only for themselves. They are not speaking for m.i.t.m. Nor do I encourage them to speak for the site. If anything, the site speaks for itself, through its maintenance/readability/extra features and the featured stories here.
Fourth, and hopefully last, the way the submissions are done is the easiest for US, the maintainers of the site. So sorry to cause you so much inconvenience as to force you to submit chapter by chapter instead of the whole thing in one go. And PRE-FORMATTED to boot, good gracious. Question: How do you suppose to have different chapters, cleanly divided and nicely formatted so your fans/readers can read your story easily, if we haven't got single chapters and perhaps a few hints where to have a paragraph or not?
Answer: I can as easily post a chapter/story as is, and then let's see how your readers will react. Because then it will be UNREADABLE.
Jeesh, after re-reading this I sometimes really feel as if I'm encountering a bunch of kindergartens on the net instead of mature individuals. Oh and if someone feels offended by this rant, please spare me and others your comments, the only thing I can say here is; If the shoe fits ...
Anyway, I'm rather sick of all the complaints and I really have other things to do than listening to little brats having fits of temper. There are always and ever will be fanfiction sites with the same subject around, so deal with it. We never strove to be the biggest or bestest site around, we just exist and are happy to provide fledgeling writers with a way to share their stories. We don't need to do it, we do not get any kicks out of it, we do it because we all love to read made up stories about our favourite actor.
Una
Rant #12 (1st of Claudia, PR slave)
23rd March 2003
Claudia's Rant
Dear fellow authors and readers of Man.In.The.Mirror Fanfiction Archive:
I think most of you are aware of the amount of time, love, effort and even money that Una invests in this site. It is a labor for which neither she or any of the other members of the Webteam receive anything in exchange, but the satisfaction of hosting over 500 stories, (dedicated to a common subject of admiration, Mr. Orlando Bloom) and also giving many people (including ourselves) the chance of sharing our writing effort publicly.
We do not want recognition or praise for the work we do (if we get praise and awards, it's just a bonus), we do it, as I said, voluntarily.
But I think that the people that make M.I.T.M. happen and function, specially Una, deserve at least the respect of the authors who have their stories hosted here.
That's why, I will ask of those authors to refrain of badmouthing the site or its webteam on any messageboards or sites. I think, that is somebody really thinks so little of this archive should spare us the work and effort and take her stories somewhere else.
As always, all your feedback and comments on the site or this rant are welcome on the guestbook or mailing me directly at maram68@yahoo.com
Sincerely,
Claudia
Una's rant
Now let me say something as well. I do not care what authors think or not think about me, my site or the rules I have set up. Rules are as varying as anything in this big, wide world. The reason why we do not host dark fics is simple. I don't like them. I don't hate them, nor do I snigger about them or their authors, it is just I don't like them. Period. I believe some of these dark fics are actually really well written, I just don't like to read a fic about a public person portrayed in a light that makes me uncomfortable. I don't mind human flaws portrayed, that makes ppl's fics and real life interesting, but I don't like seeing Orlando Bloom, or any actor and actress/entertainer at that, portrayed as a malicious, incestuous killer turned vampire raping for pleasure or whatnot.
That is why I don't host dark fics. That is a censure, yes, but something I believe is easy to live with. Authors who submitted dark fic despite the rules, have been pointed towards another archive who hosts dark fics. There was politeness in pointing out our rules and in no way have we ever ridiculed dark fics authors. If ppl are dissatisfied with the fics hosted here, and think they are all Mary Sues and boys meets girl and live happily ever after, so be it. After all, we live (still) in a world where freedom of speech is an established right to express by everyone.
Having said that, I come to another subject. With the Allied Forces now engaging war on the Iraqi terror regime, ppl have sent me emails/lectures to be posted on the site. I have already mentioned that before, I DO NOT post any 'no war entreaties'. After all, I want this site to be non-political and these entreaties do not have anything to do with the subject of this site, Orlando Bloom. Call it infringement of freedom of speech, but this is my opinion on the subject. If you want to share your thoughts about war, please do so on the appropriate forums that have opened up since Thursday last. Besides, we have at least one squadron of RAF pilots from the HMS Ark Royal reading on the site, I know because my cousin is one of them. So, although you might be against this war, and hiss and boo at President Bush, Prime Minister Blair and the Prime Ministers of Denmark, Spain and the Netherlands, please keep in mind that the soldiers of the Allied Forces are sent there because they are doing their jobs. They follow orders, and they are NOT - as someone put it in their mail - killers.
Soldiers are citizen's of death's grey land,
Drawing no dividend from time's to-morrows.
In the great hour of destiny they stand,
Each with their feuds, and jealousies, and sorrows.
Soldiers are sworn to action; they must win
Some flaming, fatal climax with their lives.
Soldiers are dreamers; when the guns begin
They think of firelit homes, clean beds and wives.
Siegfried Sassoon, Collected Poems 1908 - 1956; 'Dreamers'
Rant #11 (1st in the new year)
27th February 2003
Just got this email recently:
[...] i was wondering if you could, or somehow ask the writers to inform the readers that the story the[y] are reading maybe slightly mature, and have sexual content that they may not like to read. it causes problems when reading a story, and then midway through you need to stop, or skip parts due to their content. i know lotr has brought in many young fans and i would hant for them to come across something they arent ready to read. i guess just as a help to your readers some sort of warning either by you or the reader would be great.
Errr... I don't know about you, but haven't you all be stumbling over litle popup windows that inform you of a story's mature content or the little header where it says NC17 rating? We do not use the rating system for nothing, and if you cannot keep your eyes open or at least one brain cell engaged, then I don't know what I should do to keep 'the younger readers' protected.
And most of the time the readers old enough to read NC17 rated fanfic get squeamish not the poor, poor victims themselves. A wee bit of fictional sex has not hurt anybody, and we try to protect them, but if they overlook all warnings, then it is beyond my control.
So, here are a few helpful thinks to refresh your memory:
All stories have not only a rating in their header but also a rating right along the summary on the main author's page. Additionally, NC17 rated fanfic opens to a popup window when accessed, which states clearly that you must be over 17 to access the story or leave it be (that's why there is a wee little CANCEL button). As to the rating, that is indeed implied by the authors, here is what is stated in the FAQ - rating
G-rated
Appropiate for all readers, no sex, no hanky panky, no strong words
PG(13)-rated Appropriate for young ppl with parental guidance
R-rated
Violence (for military fics), mild sex and/or language and is not appropriate for anyone under legal age
NC-17 rated
graphic sex, violence and/or language that is not appropriate for anyone under legal age and some adults.
I hope that clears things up.
Okay with this out of the way, let me get to point #2 of my first rant in the new year.
I really, REALLY have it up to my eye balls with ppl asking me when their stories will be out. I'm behind a whole bloody month with over 150 submissions still sitting in my inbox. That you inquire several times a day and week, get sulky, pouty or downright rude, is none concern of mine. I only get angry and believe me, you want your webmistress on your good side in order to be published, ladies and gents, and not so pissed off at you that I consider dumping your stories altogether.
Let me re-iterate a few - albeit to some of you - minor facts:
This site is a hobby (and in case you forgot what that word means, let me refresh your memory with the entry from Webster's: hobby, noun : a pursuit outside one's regular occupation engaged in especially for relaxation)
I work for a living like any other human being too.
I sit in front of the computer more than 16 hours a day
I pay for this site (which is about 40 US Dollars per month, domain and bandwith included).
I already have a guilty conscience that due to health problems and a real life I have been bad in updating.
So now, pray tell me, if this site is a hobby of mine and I have all the work, why I should stand by and get utter bull from some writers?
Yeah right, thought so. So lay off me, I would like nothing more than having the site up to date and returning to daily business.
Thank you to all who have been offering help, atm due to the fact that I use a SuperNotePad template and reviewbooks that are in German, I can't delegate much work as it is. So don't be mad at me, for declining your help. What I really need atm is someone who would offer to help me set up the archive as a database in SQL so that we can have automated submissions like fanfiction.net. Thank you.
Una
- and in case you are wondering, this little rant was written in the cause of three days, thanks to my right arm still in plaster.
Resumé for 2002
01st January 2003
I hope you don't have too much of a hangover ;-) Here is a little resumé of the last year. Well, it has been a really exciting 2002. On April 8th the site was born and for the 297 days we have been online in 2002 (April 8th to December 31st) we had about 224000 hits. That makes it a cut of more than 750 visitors per day. During the past year we have been honoured to give a home to 231 authors with a total of 546 stories.
We have 3.317 HTML & image files and the whole site takes up 66 MB webspace. That is quite a lot, and I wanted to thank you all, readers and authors alike to make this site such a huge success. Hopefully 2003 will also be a highly successful year and I wish all of you a happy new year and lots of muse for the authors
Thank you :)
26th December 2002
First off: Thank you all to be so patient with me .. I know what kind of hell I have put my author's unwittingly through while I was not able to update. There you slave over your writing, hone the characters, the plot and all, then have the finished product and send it in and ... NADA .. not a word. I'm sorry about that, and I hope with my Christmas updates I could make up a bit to all of you, writers and readers alike.
But there is an upside to the whole virus thing, it made me reach a decision. I need to automate this site like ff.net. Of course that will incorporate some changes here, especially the reinforcement of the NO DARKFIC policy and a complete haulover on the site design to fit into the database and PHP thing. Additonally, I have to find someone who can set up a database for this site. (I suck at these and have successfully dodged creating them in my line of work professionally) So anyone firm in PHP and MYSQL, please give me a holler.
Rant #10
02nd December 2002
Okay, cut me some slack here will'ya??? I really REALLY get pissed off by ppl who bug me with their stories, not only once or twice but more times. Let me get this even into the densest of brains: this site is for fun, most of all for me. I'm not your personal slave nor do I have to update to spite other fanfic webmasters. And that I take some few days off is not the world, folks. Contrary to some of your beliefs I'm a professional woman with a highly demanding and professional job. I might sit in front of the computer 24/7 but I can't just drop everything when an email with a story submission comes in. I have deadlines to meet, if I don't I lose money. Money, I might remind you, that is earned to keep this web page on the net. I do this for fun, in my own time, with my own money, burning too often the midnight oil to get the updates up in the mornings. I really don't need any smart assed, selfish little brats who inquire repeatedly why the fuck their stories aren't updated. Gee, gimme a break. I could just as easily close this site, capice?
Rant #9
13th October 2002
Okay, let me get this one really clear once and for all.
a) I'm NOT hosting Legolas fanfiction! Not because I don't like you (as someone pointed out to me in an email) but because of personal choice. I rarely read LOTR fanfiction so why, pray tell me, should I put work into it? Let alone time, money and bandwidth? I work almost four hours per day on this site depending on the size and load of fanfictions submitted each day. You might think with the pre-formatting it is easy for me, just copy it in and that's it .. nope it isn't because I get non-formatted stuff as well as HTML formatted stuff that is formatted all wrong. Additionally, I have to create new review books for new stories, change the appearance, translate it into English (yep, I'm using a German guestbook as it can be changed completely in appearance). I have to hold the hands of writers, bounce, cheer them up and what not, and to top that off I have a life to live, with a husband and work that is really straining. With this said, here is number two...
b) I do NOT host any off the wall non-Orlando related stuff ... may it be religiously uplifting, just mental drivel, or the next NO WAR Petition (which is a hoax, so get real)
Why?
Because I'm not religious so I really, really stick to the free religion for all kind of thing and do not want to impose beliefs on others who could care less. My web space is too precious as to fill it up with mental drivel that no one really cares about, especially not me and guess what, I all the way second President Bush's notion to go to war in Iraq. I personally believe that this war is necessary, to pertain the freedom of every individual in the Western World.
So don't get your knickers in a skivvy and behave like normal people if I decline your submissions, the reasons I do are one or all of the above ... deal with it, or go somewhere else because the site is run my way. I PAY for this site and it's mine. This site ain't no democracy.
Una - bitchy emperess
Rant #8
29th September 2002
Well it is not really a rant but some piece of advice. Over the last couple of weeks some NC17 writers have been asked by younger readers if the sex is as they described it in their smut scenes (you are not supposed to read NC17 rated stuff anyway when you are not 17 or OLDER, kids)
Anyway, is sex great? Yes, if both partners know what they are doing, it can be. Is sex perfect? No way. Let me give you some adjectives sex is mostly:
messy, clumsy, awkward, embarrassing, painful, ridiculous and a lot more.
That said, of course sex can also be fun, arousing and very meaningful. But most of the time it is more clumsy than meaningful and more awkward and messy than really sexy and fun. Why? Because sex can only be good if both partners a) want it and b) feel ready that they should do this great step in sharing intimacy with another person, that it is the right time and the right place.
If a girl (or boy) doesn't feel she is ready for this step, then NO is a NO, not a 'maybe' and most of all not a 'yes'. Don't listen to what your boy friend tells you ... or the advice that your girl-friends who have all 'done it' already have to give you. If a girl feels too young for it, then listen to your gut feeling. And if your boyfriend tells you: "If you really love me you would sleep with me..." then send him to hell. He is just keen on the sex. Give him twenty Dollars/Pounds/Euro and send him into the nearest direction to a brothel or tell him to use his ten little fingers.
Love and sex is not the same ... you can love a person and still stay with that person although the sex might be boring and atrocious, or you can have great sex with a person but you do not love it. One's first time should be when the time is right, when you feel you are mature enough to handle the situation (and I mean not only the sex but also the protection - pill, condom etc. - against pregnancy AND disease) and when you feel you want to share this with another person.
Most of the time what we NC17 writers are writing is the ideal ... the locos amoenus (beautiful place) where sex is great and not messy (you'll find out soon enough whether or not you've ever used a condom). We take all the good experiences and roll it into one but there is no such thing as instant gratification, most of the time you as the woman have to tell your man how to do things, remember, men only have their own experience and an orgasm for them feels totally different to what a woman experiences.
In case, you young girls out there start to have sex, and you feel something is not right or missing, tell your mate, otherwise he won't change anything and you'll never come close to the beautiful place where your toes curl up and you feel like you are exploding inside.
And another thing ... the rating NCSEVENTEEN isn't just there to gather more reviews but it has a reason. If you are younger than 17, stay away from it. As you can see it can confuse you and might lead you onto a path that you really do not like following and where your body might alreay be but where your mind still isn't.
Concluding, all I can say is: be mature about what you read and stay off it until it applies to you, and that also applies to having sex.
Una - feeling like the agony aunt ;-)
Rant #7
22nd September 2002
A lot of you might have noticed that I do not update so much during the day anymore. That has two reasons, a) because we get not as many fanfics during the day as we used to and b) and this is the most important reason, contrary to some ppl's beliefs, I do have a job to hold down. I might work from home but I do have office hours too, where I have to meet deadlines.
So please stop emailing me when your fanfics don't appear on the site ten minutes after you have submitted them. Especially if you take in mind that when you submit your story at 8 pm EST, it is 3AM my time. Sending me up to five emails asking, demanding and what not where the hell your chapters/stories are doesn't make me work any harder or quicker. On the contrary it makes me more recalcitrant and could lead to me on putting your email addy on ignore and ignoring your chapters/stories all together.
Second thing is, I do not ... I repeat ... DO NOT host Legolas fic, for several reasons:
personal preference : I do not write nor read a lot of LOTR fanfic. Lord Of The Rings by Tolkien is something like a Bible to me, and I only make little exceptions when I DO read a LOTR fanfic.
writers craving reviews : I really do not care if your LOTR fics don't get any reviews on LOTR specific fanfic sites. Please take that matter to the webmasters in question, to either provide you with a similar review system like ff.net or to promote your fanfic more. Otherwise I really do not want to hear about it. Period.
monetary reasons : The server this site is on is paid by me ... yes, ladies and gents I pay monthly to provide for the web space as well as the bandwidth transfer. I'm already hitting hard the bandwidth transfer limit every month, with the hits we are getting from Orlific-only readers, imagine what would happen when I would open a Legolas fanfic section. Anyone remember those 404 -site temporarily unavailable signs? It could happen because I do not want to pay 5 to 10 US $ extra to every 1 MB when I exceed my bandwidth.
As to all the reasons given above, it doesn't work if you leave me out of the discussion by only emailing Dom and/or Claudia. They do not have the login and password to this account, nor will they have it as this account is also where my business site is located (and about all my other sites as well). They know my take on Legolas fic and although they might not like my opinion on this issue, will not try to sway me.
Una - webmistress
Rant #6
22nd August 2002
Okay ranting time again !!!!!!
I do not condone any abusive behaviour towards the writers featured here, so keep your profanities at a place where the sun don't shine. I mean it. ALL abusers and flamers will be reported to their respective internet providers, and these made it quite clear that they boot ppl who cannot behave themselves on the net and give their services a bad name. So stop showing off like the stupid idiots you are and behave as if you have at least one grey cell up in your skull. The reviews here are logged, you might not leave an email address but your computer has a unique IP addy, and with this I will find you and your provider. And before you think you can use your work computer, think again. I do not hesitate to mail the admin and your boss at the place you work
Una
Rant #5
11th July 2002
Okay, ranting time again. ... Normally I do not comment on anything a writer writes in their author's notes, but if it goes against me or the site, then by all means, I say something. ...
1) if I do get a story, and mail writers about the way it is written (because it goes against the rules or needs a spell check badly) and I get an EDITED version back, then I'll post it on the site. If a writer forgets to post parts, it is not my problem. I only post what I get but I do mail the writers and ask to have the COMPLETE story posted. However, if I don't get an answer back, I will let the matter drop.
2) if the way a story is posted here is not to a writer's liking, then please, go somewhere else. I try to post the stories a) so they fit the layout, b) are easily readable and c) do not compete with others. That is why every story has the same layout, sometimes with a link to coverart, most times not. If you like huge banners and whatnots, then please post your stories somewhere else. You won't find it here.
I'm always open to suggestions (ask Dom she knows) but if you do not talk to me and leave niggling little remarks in your stories instead of dropping me a line, then I'll get very cross and I'm sure you don't want to have a pissed off half-Scot as a webmistress.
Rant #4
08th July 2002
Folks, hate mail and flame reviews happen all the time. Don't loose heart because of just one idiot flaming you and your fic ... or flaming this site. things like these happen. These ppl are just jealous and don't know what to do with their time, let alone come up with an idea to write at all. Let them flame and refer them to me. :) Every review that is submitted leaves an IP address, every IP addy belongs to a computer at a private home or a company, and there is something like abuse@ for every on-line service as well as company. You get my drift?! Good. As it happens the person posting as Heh and OB himself (we wish !!) has been notified with IP address and ARIN info to his/her employers, so let's see how kindly the employer of this person takes to squandering company's money and time during office hours by flaming writers of this site AND dissing this archive.
Addendum #1 : Oh and before I forget .. ppl asked me some stuff about the site ... if you haven't before, please go to our site history if you want to know more, as for the more inquisitive, currently (as of now) we have 1.205 fanfic html files in our archive and 18 html files that make up this page (like the updates etc.).
Addendum #2:
Please stop nominating this site for BEST FANFIC site at MOA (milui orlando awards). We already won best fanfic site and we cannot run in this category anymore. There are some really great fanfic sites out there, so please check the fanfiction links. I personally think Out of Middle Earth is a great site :)
Rant #3
19th June 2002
People have asking me why I didn't give certain ppl a little star ... Folks, this star thing is purely subjective. I mean either I like something or I don't .. it doesn't mean the story sucks as a whole, it just means me, Una, can't relate to the story as a whole. And please stop bugging me for not giving myself a little orange star I have added it now, so there! :P
Rant #2
04th June 2002
In order to avoid yesterday's fallout, I have added a new category to the FAQ, namely that of a list of terms and their meaning.
Additionally, I have added a new category under MISC - fanfic resources: Beta Readers (so if you want to volunteer as a beta give me a yell or if you are a writer who needs a beta, look here)
Thank you all who have been sending mails to me - you guys rock ! And it was a pleasure to entertain you (waves at Nikkers) and if you are interested in more rants (but not here - no no) have a look into my weblog on my private page.
Rant # 1
03rd June 2002
Una's Rant:
Okay, before we go to this day's updates I want to say something first:
What does Slash mean? Slash means sexual situations between two consenting adults of the same sex. That is a widely known term in fanfiction and yes, we have slash stories in this archive as well. If you don't like two men or two women doing 'it' together, then stay away from stories that are marked with slash ! Flaming an author and gay ppl is only showing your own stupidity and intolerance AND the fact you are obviously not able to read and make sense of perfectly correct coherent words.
And for those with outdated morals (you know who you are) Homosexuality is neither a disease nor an act of evilness, so go and stuff your outdated morals where the sun don't shine. I'm hopping, fucking mad and it makes me angry that those holier than thou folks still have these outdated morals in the 21st century. This is a fan FICTION archive, does the term FICTIONAL ring a bell?? Whether or not Orlando Bloom or any other actor is gay or not (either in real or fictional life), we should respect them as well as the author who writes slash.
Let's face it, Orli's best friend is bi-sexual for crying out loud and Orli and others have been seen French kissing member's of their own sex - oh gasp what a shock -NOT!!
Edited:
Okay I think I should elaborate here ...I'm NOT bashing anyone's religion, with holier than thou ppl & outdated morals I mean those who think that homosexuals should be put away with as they think their sexual preference is downright wrong. Their opinions might be based on religion, upbringing or something or other, but it shows only that they are not abiding to one fundamental law that, if I remember correctly here from my Catholic upbringing, as Jesus said: "Love thy neighbour". All religions (And I'm meaning all beliefs) which preach the love of all beings (enemies and friends alike) but have incarcerated, put to death and shut away homosexuals in their long history, are highly questionable in my oh so humble opinion. It is like saying: "Love thy neigbour but if s/he is a homosexual, god forbid and run a sword through them!" But this is only my opinion, I don't want to bash anyone, everyone is entitled to their own opinons, but let's play nice here. Some ppl although knowing what slash means, lashed out at an author of this site, and with doing so lashing out at homosexuals in general. This has nothing to do with religion, it has to do with some common sense, folks.
Una, your very pissed off web mistress
30th May 2005
Of politeness, respect and education.
Even though the site is now running smoothly there are always some ppl who find fault, even if the fault is on their side of the computer and not with the site itself. But who cares, after all we are the personal slaves to jump through fiery hoops to service you - no matter what.
First off, I really ...and I mean I REALLY hate it when I format the first chapter with the right title and all and then the author after having seen the story was updated on the site, deleting the whole thing and then uploading their own NON-FORMATTED chapter again. HELLO??? Anyone having read the submission guidelines recently?!
Secondly, idling stories that have 0 (as in ZERO and NULL) chapters and hanging around in our database for ages because the author is too lazy to look up the submission guidelines to see how the chapters are added. Instead of closing a window why not clicking on ADD CHAPTER for a change and copy and paste the whole sheebang in the form that is coming up??
Thirdly, authors who ignore my mails asking them to read the submission guidelines on formatting and then after three weeks (and three mails) warning them I will delete their stories in the fourth week, complaining to me in emails after five weeks that I deleted their stories and getting nasty about it.
Fourth, I really do not like netspeak or mobile phone text message speak. It is just abominable and RAPES the English language. To quote my old English teacher: If you can't write properly, why do you want to write stories anyway? I don't mean the occasional typo, heck everyone does it but I really get my blood pressure up when I see stuff like this: hElL0 im a nEtSpEEk geek & luv u. And if I catch one author again of changing back their story title to capital and non capital lettering WITHIN a word after I have changed it already, I won't only delete the whole story, I will delete the whole account and ban their IP number.
Fifth, folks ... we are all human here, there are always glitches when using highly advanced technical appliances. When the site is not updated on Mondays because a) I don't have the time or b) my account hiccups again, doesn't mean the world is going to explode. Just take yourself off the internet and go out for a change, take a walk in a park, or along the beach. Same goes for the awards, the forum and other features of m.i.t.m. We are all human here and while being human mistakes can happen ON SITE as well as at the users/readers end. So stop bugging me and others if AOL is not able to update the site within 24 hours when a new update/new splash page is already loaded. I am not responsible that you are still using AOHELL instead of a good internet provider.
Sixth, and this is repetitio ad nauseam: WE DO NOT HOST CHARACTER BASED STORIES!! I'm willing to bend this rule to a certain extent, I am even willing to allow a lot of AU, but when a story is completely of any of OB's characters without even a tiny mention of OB himself ANYWHERE in that damn story, then the story won't be approved. What is so difficult to understand???
Seventh, please do not always and always nominate the same old stories. There are a lot of other wonderful stories up on the site, so please give them a chance. I can only add so many img alt-tags to the little yellow stars. I have come across stories that have won in different categories but up to five times. Isn't that a bit of an overkill?
Having said all that, don't expect me or Dom or Elf to jump through aforementioned hoops of fire every time you come across a problem or didn't read the guidelines carefully. We are not the punching balls of your bad mood. We are human, with our personal feelings, our personal perception and with our own personal lives. m.i.t.m. is JUST A WEBPAGE. It is nice you see it as your home, but put the whole thing into perspective, it is just another fanfic page and there is a life outside the virtual web.
Rant #22
14th February 2005
I have deleted a couple of new submissions after a month of requesting the authors to check their stories and fix the HTML formatting. As my repeated mails were ignored (and don't tell me, you didn't get any, the mails were blind-copied to another admin as well), I saw it fit to clear out our database space.
yeah, yeah I know ... I'm a bitch ... but you know ... I like being a bitch
and this bitch is driving the bus.Sorry about the delays in the fanfic challenge this week but I got a denial of service attack on my websites and mailboxes. Good thing is almost all was directed to the webspace and not the databases, so if you tried to reach this site and couldn't load the site from your cache, you were caught in the middle of one of those DOS attacks.
Rant #21
24th September 2004
Oh-kay ... this is not really a rant ... well it is but I am not really pissed off ... just slightly peeved.
Here goes:
I understand that ppl are busy, I also understand that sometimes you just can't be bothered with answering mails, I get all that, I do the same. BUT!
If an author submits a story and I mail said author to please pre-format properly, even explaining how to and so on, and my mails get ignored and the submission will not be formatted properly, then I'll get peeved. By closing your eyes against the problem, the problem won't go away. I will just after two weeks, delete your submission. No discussion.
Look, I'm not really asking much if you pre-format your chapters. It isn't so hard to ask to insert a <p> into every paragraph and between dialogue lines, is there? Or do you want to have your stories presented like this?
[...]"Orlando, come in come in, Gwen should be right out just have a sit and make yourself at home." "Allan where are we going tonight?" Orlando asks as he sits down. "We are going to a dinner theather called "Lord of the Dance", Gwen you look absolutley stunning!" Orlando spun around to see the beautifulest woman he had ever seen...she had straight brown hair down to her butt, baby blue eyes with a hint of green in them, she wore this pair of black dress pants with a white collar shirt and a black sweater over that and it fit her just perfectly. "Hello Gwen..I'm Orlando pleased to meet you, Allan talks about you all the time."part of original submitted story, author didn't bother to contact me for two weeks now.
I really do not have the time to format your stories, no way in hell will I beta or format for you. It is not because I'm a nasty bitch (quote from an email) or because I love to put the m.i.t.m. writers through the wringer, it is a simple matter of both time constrictions and common courtesy. Time constrictions on my side and common courtesy from the writer towards me. Why? Let me reiterate: My site, my rules. If you cannot accept that, then please by all means, feel free to take yourself off to another archive. But remember most OB archives now ask their authors also to pre-format. Tough isn't it?
Secondly, please read the submission guidelines carefully. I didn't just compile these just to fill any blanks on the site. They are important. But obviously some ppl don't bother or why is it that every sixth story that gets submitted is a Troy/POTC/LOTR fic? And if I inform the author with a nice email thanking them for the submission but alas we do not host character based stories as applied in our submission guidelines, I get emails back bitching at me for being stupid not to host your wonderfully writ stories and I should make an exception.
Hello???!!!! You don't go to a vegetarian restaurant and order a medium steak, do you?
Anyway, these are the pet peeves that have come up ... yet again. Sometimes I wonder if certain ppl are able to read AND comprehend what they are reading, otherwise I can't explain to myself why I always get wrongly submitted stories or non-formatted stories.
Rant #20
02nd August 2004
Idiot workers ...
I live in a cul-e-sac kind of street with huge, old chestnut trees and small villas and five to six storey houses. Some nouveau riche idiot now is dismantling a beautiful Bauhaus villa further down the street and the workers there have to move their heavy machinery on a very small patch of land as not to disrupt the normal day to day dealing on my street.
Well DISRUPTING THEY ARE!!!!
For the third time in as many weeks they have capped the electricity cables that run in the ground. They are supposed to dig a new cellar and every time these idiot workers start to dig they cut off either our electricity or our telephones. I have had enough. Especially as the last two days were really REALLY hot and living wihtout a fan or AC was HELL.
So now you know why the m.i.t.m. update is a day late. I just hope I can stay online long enough to send a complaint to our local representative and to the road building department. :s
Rant #19
01st July 2004
Strange days ...
I couldn't get online as something had happened with my DSL provider (probably some flash burn as we had thunderstorms over here), so I couldn't update m.i.t.m. this morning. When I got online at last this afternoon, I prepared the update, ignoring all incoming mail ... sigh ... ten ppl complaining about where today's update was
Jesus folks, you cannot be bothered to leave feedback to authors and webmiss on good days but you have to complain about ONE late update?
What do you think you are? Or better who do you think I am? Your personal slave? I think NOT!!!
I know you are eager to read the newest chapters of your favourite stories, but for crissake, I'm only human. And if you are so eager to read the updated chapters why do you not bother to go to the story pages YOURSELF, look for the starting letter of the name of your fave author and have a look if there is an UPDATED sign with the current date attached to the stories??
The site and how it is set up is really easy to follow and navigate, any dummy could look that up.
Una
Want to rant, comment or shout back? - do it here
Rant #18
17th June 2004
Underage sex
Please read the submission guidelines carefully, we do not allow any stories on the archive that feature under age heroines falling in and making love to OB or any other real life personality. I don't care how wonderfully you think the story is written or how tastefully you have set up the smut scene or that I'm impairing your freedom of speech, I will not host a story where an adult has sex with a minor. PERIOD.
No discussion, and no coaxing. This is my site, I pay for it and I call the shots.
I really do not want to have m.i.t.m. appearing on any pedophile index or the source of rumours that OB or any other real actor had something with a minor. You know how fickle media is nowadays, things get printed before they get verified (if at all).
Look, we are already threading a fine line here between a libel suit and just some harmless fun. If any of the actors featured here on the site gets a chip on their shoulder and want us closed down, we will. I don't have the money, time or energy to fight a cease and desist order.
Besides, I really DON'T LIKE reading about a preppy bouncy, squealy 15 year old to have sex with OB or anyone else. The thought alone already gives me the gaggings of disgust. Call me old fashioned or plain mean, I don't want that crap on my site.
Una
Rant #17
12th June 2004
Plagiarism - does any other thing smell as foul?
This is in direct response to the fact that I pulled a story off man.in.the.mirror after hearing what this author has done before with an author and her story:
Gilraen: Today, I've been kicked out from a site I thought was respectable, because one of the writers hosted there is friends with the moderators. There's been a very unpleasant discussion with this writer months ago, and to me it was over. Unfortunately, hackers are spamming my mail and sending me viruses since I've fought with her. The mail arrived today from this site said that they can't host my stories because they are afraid that I copied them somewhere else. Good. Give me the link to the original story, I'd love to see that. But they have no link because my stories are original works. And as if it wasn't enough, they're offending my co-writer as well, saying that our stories are copied, even if she wasn' involved in the fight with this nasty writer who loves to victimize herself.
Miriel, I think you should be ashamed of yourself. You're 40 and all you can do is live through a computer and flaming people. I tried to be civil and talk to you. You just said your friends to kick me out (and this is the second time, there'll not be a third, believe me) with no evidence at all. And I'm so sure that soon flamers will start bothering me again. I have evidences that you're telling them to send me viruses and mean mails. Yes, yes. I know everything, don't worry, no need to be try and appear like a little angel.
You're evil. Evil and mean. If you were mature (and I was hoping that you could be, since you're 40) this story would be over months ago. Like it was for me. Do you remember what Megiliel called you? I can remember very well. She was so right.
Now, if you want to excuse me, I'm going on hiatus for some days. I don't want to publish anymore for now, even if I have tons of fanfictions. I don't want because when I see those things, I prefer to stay alone. This, because it's glaring that mean people will never stop bothering me. They said that if I'd change my site, my nickname and everything else they'd stop. To me, this is blackmail. And I'm not into those things. I'm 23 and I am more mature of someone else.
Thank you to everyone of you for reading this, even if I know that no one is even interested in this site.
Now, before you fall for this stunt let me tell you something. She copied a story off m.i.t.m. almost word for word, changed the character names and some places and then showed it off as her own work. Not on m.i.t.m. but on Elves & Men and they are a fairly laid back bunch over there but as soon as they read both versions, they pulled her (Gilraen's) story.
This new story was different, well written and all and I'm sorry that the co-author is the only one suffering here, but I had no other way of action than to pull the new submission. It is stated in our disclaimer that plagiarism is not allowed and I cannot determine if this is her own original work or not.
She may have changed her ways, but unless I'm not 100 % certain that IS HER ORIGINAL work, then I am unwilling to host it. Not only to protect my site but also all those struggling fanfic and original fic authors out there.
I cannot deny the fact that Miriel is my friend, but this incident has nothing to do with that fact. I got information to consider and having read Miriel's works and knowing she uses a lot local colour to enhance her stories, a lot of situations and places in both stories didn't quite mesh. Things only Miriel knew about also appeared in the supposed plagiated story. Coincidence? I think not.
Despite Gilraen's thinking of the opposite, m.i.t.m. IS a respectable site because we take care of our authors, we try to protect them from claims of plagiarism (if they are unfounded) as well as trying to keep their work from being plagiarised.
Una
Rant #16
18th August 2003
Viruses, Worms and Trojans
First off, viruses are not so much around anymore. They were used to hog onto the DOS system that is not used anymore in the more recent Microsoft Operating Systems, like Windows ME, Windows NT, 2000 and XP. Worms and Trojans have replaced the viruses of old, and although they do not carry the name 'virus' anymore, they are just as awful and destructive as a virus. Worms and Trojans use little cracks in your system shield to hibernate, copy and destruct. They come in many shapes and sized, as email attachments, as a installation on a website or in a file, you downloaded from the net. To protect yourself from these, USE an Anti-virus programme. It is better to pay for Norton or McAfee, than to be sorry because your PC won't boot anymore or your email address books have been effected and you lose friends because you are sending out worms without you noticing it.
The most recent, and nasty worm is KLEZ. It is a worm that is around for about a year now and has been manipulated into many forms by bloody idiots. It attacks especially computers with Outlook as the email programme and can once it is on your HDD, spy out your outbox and adress book. But it also takes adresses from ICQ and AIM and can damage your files. Everytime you send out an email, KLEZ will attach itself to such an email (without you realizing it) and sends copies of itself to addresses in your address book and outbox. Mostly with subject lines you might have used or received. It even uses email addresses from your address book (it fakes an SMTP address) to appear to be sent out by these ppl, to send back to you. So that it appears that someone you know deliberately send you a virus, but if you have a look at the complete header of the email with all IP and SMTP info, you'll see that you sent it out and not any of your friends. Really nasty that :s
How to get rid of it:
Best to install an Antivirus programme like McAfee and Norton Antivirus AND updating it every two days. Run a complete check on your computer, also the partitions where you might not think KLEZ (or any other worm, trojan or virus) can hide.
You can also check your C:\Windows\System\ folder (or for NT C:\Winnt\System32) for anything that is named something like Wink.exe Delete it .. or better yet delete it through your updated Anti-virus programme
Currently, there is also lovesan out ... it is part KLEZ and part trojan to use a back door in all NT OS, like NT, 2000 and XP. It can really screw up your PC, you should run a Windows update if you use an NT OS, to close the backdoor and also with an antivirus programme to get rid of the trojan. Otherwise your PC's error messages will cascade up until your main boot sector on your hard drive won't let you start Windows .. AT ALL. You'll have to delete all data on your HDD and install Windows anew, and if you have all your data on C:\ instead of another partition, then you lose your data. Just because some idiot child who thinks of him/herself as a super-hack and rebel against Microsoft created a nasty bug that only hurts you, the user, and not Microsoft at all.
I hope that helps, if you have more questions, please feel free to ask.
Info on viruses and anti-virus programmes, also current virus warnings:
http://www.symantec.com
http://www.mcafee.com
Rant #15
04th August 2003
The inability to read ... & netiquette
Ever wondered why ppl don't get all the information needed despite the fact that it is RIGHT THERE in front of their eyes?
Well, a prime example was seen in one of the guestbooks again of one of our writers. Some little girl(s) anonymously *yeah right, dream on - snicker* leaving flaming entries about Orli being gay in a FICTIONAL story.
1 a : something invented by the imagination or feigned; specifically : an invented story
b : fictitious literature (as novels or short stories) c : a work of fiction; especially : NOVEL
2 a : an assumption of a possibility as a fact irrespective of the question of its truth
b : a useful illusion or pretense
3 : the action of feigning or of creating with the imagination Is the story labelled NC17? CHECK! Is the story labelled SLASH? DOUBLE-CHECK!! Do we have an explanation of the term on our site? Triple CHECK!
But despite these facts and despite the fact that the author went to length to WARN any readers at the very top of the story, some petty minded beings needed to speak up. Folks, come on if you don't like male/male relationships (since the 1960's widely on and off-line known as SLASH because of the /) portrayed in a fictional story, then leave it the hell ALONE. Don't open it, even when your finger itches.
I think in the same category - namely that of 'showing off as a doofus brain' - falls HOT LINKING aka remote linking. Don't know what this is? Well hot or remote linking is linking to an image or file from a different web site to your own. Sounds pretty pathetic right? It would be, if there wasn't something like bandwidth. Bandwidth?, you ask.
Bandwidth is an allowance from your webhost of how many times files (images, html files, media files) are allowed to be opened and downloaded. Some have lots of bandwidth on offer, some have less but ALL charge if you exceed this bandwidth. Every time you come to m.i.t.m. some of our bandwidth is reduced, every time you open a story on the site, bandwidth is reduced. Every time some schmock from another site other than m.i.tm. accesses a story or wallpaper on m.i.t.m. via that other website, yes you guessed it - bandwidth is reduced.
Now some ppl who wanted to make it really easy for themselves, hot linked to files on m.i.t.m. to show off on their sites. Every time their sites were loaded stuff from us got loaded too... and BINGO OUR bandwidth got reduced. Wallpapers of the 1024 resolution were used as backgrounds on other sites, and yes, OUR bandwidth was reduced. So much so, that I had to pay an additional 100 to 120 USD each month to my normal fee of 40 USD, and believe me we have lots of bandwidth. So I have disabled the rightclick on the story sites and the wallpapers. I really, really am fed up with how ppl seem to think they can leech off others, may it be bandwidth, imagination or what not. Additionally, I have added a donation button. It is not a must or rule to donate, just a show of support to m.i.t.m. to stay alive, because frankly, I can't cough up so much money anymore, not after over a year of doing it and getting bullshit from readers and writers because I am offline to tend to my REAL LIFE. I'm not at school or university, I work for a living, have to pay all my bills and also have to keep my partner happy, and that will always come first.
Rant #14
17th May 2003
Not really a rant but a huge THANK YOU to all the writers and readers of this site. Now that our first anniversary has come and gone, it is time to take a resumé of the last year.
A lot has happened, first off I would have never thought this fanfic archive would grow as much as it has in the past year, especially not that it would generate so many visitors per day. We had 1088 visitors per day on average with 800 to 1000 unique hits per day during the first 365 days of being on-line. That is a lot, considering we only have a few graphic downloads and the majority is only text files.
Atm we have 3.391 fanfiction files that amount to roughly 66 MB diskspace. That is only the fanfiction we are offering, not included are the reviewbooks, the graphics, the info and the lot, that make the frame of the site. This is you, the writers, who done it, who have coaxed their creative juices, twisted the arms of their muses, burned the midnight oil on many nights. You have done it, I only am the archivist, together with my wonderful staff.
Speaking of which, I want to say THANK YOU to my staff, to Claudia, who relentlessly pursues the promotion of the site, dealing with affiliates, link sites and helping me with the reviewbooks. Also to Dom, who takes care of the beta readers that are offering their services on the site. She came up with lots of wonderful ideas and features you see on this site. Then, last but not least, Nedra, who came on board not so long ago and who now takes care of the new story submissions. Thank you, ladies :)
This past year was a lot of fun and a lot of aggrivation, especially as I had to deal with a lot of crap, from my chemo last year to my broken arm now, as well as technical difficulties with my web account company. But mostly it has been fun, not because of the praise we got, the awards we won, but for you, the readers and writers. The joy to offer a place where you can meet and read and write about our favourite actor. Seeing the first tentative steps of a fledgling author and then him or her taking flight with more and more intense, amusing or tear jerking stories, brought more happiness and also satisfaction at least to me, than all the site's awards and recognition, that is only a side benefit.
Let me tell you something about how the day to day dealings of this site work, as some ppl have sent me emails asking how to create/maintain a web site. Contrary to some ppl's believes, it's not magic but hard work ;-)
If a writer submits a new story, s/he most likely will submit the story to Nedra, who then puts the pre-formatted story into its right template, names it and sends it to me. I get the file, Claudia will create the review books (she speaks German as they are in German too, this comes in handy), I add the URL to the reviewbook and also change the appearance and language of the review book and then will add any other links for further chapters if I have them present. Then the new story/writer will be put into the author's list, linked with the story, adding the summary, rating provided by the author and also put it up on the updates page. Then I upload everything. Even with only ten new stories/chapters per day, these updates can take up as much as 30 files that had to be added, changed or otherwise updated. So even if you, the reader, only have an update of five all new stories and five chapter updates to existing stories, I have added and changed more than just the ten files altogether. Sometimes I work as long as 3 hours on updates, especially if there are more than one new chapter to a story. No magic ...just daily work ... with my professional work and real life on top of it :) We here at m.i.t.m. do it for nothing, no money, no recognition, no fancy awards. We have fun providing you with a place to read and write fanfiction, that's all. And we hope, or better I hope, we will be providing you with this service in the hopefully many years to come :)
Now, to something else. I have been getting emails, telling me I have been lying and/or nicking designs from another archive, or all in all that this archive sucks. Let me tell you, what you see is what I have created by using SuperNotePad and my wee ol' graphics programme. No nicking, no inspiration taken from someone else. I am also aware that some ppl just like to stir crap, and most of the time I just trash these emails, and just forget about it, but if these emails try to create some sort of 'war' between two archives, I'm getting riled up. In no way was my last rant directed at a particular fanfiction ARCHIVE, but at comments made to me in emails and chats. We here at m.i.t.m. really have neither the time nor the inclination to start anything, let alone a fic archive war. But apparently some ppl just love to stir shit and create something out of the blue, twisting and misreading comments made by one person and relaying it to me and others in a different manner. Let me tell you, it doesn't work. If I rant from now on, I won't hesitate to name the names of those who sent me both well meaning emails as well as abusive ones, to make certain for all that I'm meaning individuals not ppl connected to archives alltogether. So there, no more shit stirring or you will get some nasty payback from me and probably from those you were trying to fiddle with and against.
Una
Rant #13
01st April 2003
Okayyyy - I first thought about doing an April's Fool joke, but I then re-considered. I think it wouldn't be too funny, if ppl came across the page and it would say "We have closed indefinitely".
Alright, let me re-iterate for all of you readers, writers and haters alike. The m.i.tm. staff and especially not me are on a private crusade against any other fanfic archives. Frankly, we don't have the TIME to do so. If for example I had more time, I wouldn't be so far behind the updates, thank you very much.
First off, pictures available publicly from different magazines as well as websites are FREE. Yes, ladies and gents, if one site uses a particular image first and another site uses the same but with changes (from 17th March onward), you can bitch all you like but implying that m.i.t.m. might nicked your image is ridiculous. If we went as far as this I might reply, that a) we had the pic first up on our splash page (3rd of March) and b) if you already fret about an image I might start bitching about colour coding, does the colours white, black and red tell you anything? Or the fact that features that were unique to this site are now also offered on others? - Thought so. So I will ignore from now on any petty complaining emails. If you do not have the whole facts, keep your trap shut and your brain engaged.
Second, if an author of this site badmouthes this site and the writers featured here, it is annoying, but unless it isn't done on the site, I tend to ignore it. Of course, if that continues and ppl take exception to it, esp. staff members, it will be dealt with. We did not ask a certain author to remove her stories from our site, but that author ASKED to have her stories removed.
Third, if a writer who also happens to be a staff member of this site gives a review to a story not on this site and it is not considered favourably, the review is the personal opinion of the staff member and not of the whole site. Any staffmember knows that giving an opinion/review speaks for themselves and only for themselves. They are not speaking for m.i.t.m. Nor do I encourage them to speak for the site. If anything, the site speaks for itself, through its maintenance/readability/extra features and the featured stories here.
Fourth, and hopefully last, the way the submissions are done is the easiest for US, the maintainers of the site. So sorry to cause you so much inconvenience as to force you to submit chapter by chapter instead of the whole thing in one go. And PRE-FORMATTED to boot, good gracious. Question: How do you suppose to have different chapters, cleanly divided and nicely formatted so your fans/readers can read your story easily, if we haven't got single chapters and perhaps a few hints where to have a paragraph or not?
Answer: I can as easily post a chapter/story as is, and then let's see how your readers will react. Because then it will be UNREADABLE.
Jeesh, after re-reading this I sometimes really feel as if I'm encountering a bunch of kindergartens on the net instead of mature individuals. Oh and if someone feels offended by this rant, please spare me and others your comments, the only thing I can say here is; If the shoe fits ...
Anyway, I'm rather sick of all the complaints and I really have other things to do than listening to little brats having fits of temper. There are always and ever will be fanfiction sites with the same subject around, so deal with it. We never strove to be the biggest or bestest site around, we just exist and are happy to provide fledgeling writers with a way to share their stories. We don't need to do it, we do not get any kicks out of it, we do it because we all love to read made up stories about our favourite actor.
Una
Rant #12 (1st of Claudia, PR slave)
23rd March 2003
Claudia's Rant
Dear fellow authors and readers of Man.In.The.Mirror Fanfiction Archive:
I think most of you are aware of the amount of time, love, effort and even money that Una invests in this site. It is a labor for which neither she or any of the other members of the Webteam receive anything in exchange, but the satisfaction of hosting over 500 stories, (dedicated to a common subject of admiration, Mr. Orlando Bloom) and also giving many people (including ourselves) the chance of sharing our writing effort publicly.
We do not want recognition or praise for the work we do (if we get praise and awards, it's just a bonus), we do it, as I said, voluntarily.
But I think that the people that make M.I.T.M. happen and function, specially Una, deserve at least the respect of the authors who have their stories hosted here.
That's why, I will ask of those authors to refrain of badmouthing the site or its webteam on any messageboards or sites. I think, that is somebody really thinks so little of this archive should spare us the work and effort and take her stories somewhere else.
As always, all your feedback and comments on the site or this rant are welcome on the guestbook or mailing me directly at maram68@yahoo.com
Sincerely,
Claudia
Una's rant
Now let me say something as well. I do not care what authors think or not think about me, my site or the rules I have set up. Rules are as varying as anything in this big, wide world. The reason why we do not host dark fics is simple. I don't like them. I don't hate them, nor do I snigger about them or their authors, it is just I don't like them. Period. I believe some of these dark fics are actually really well written, I just don't like to read a fic about a public person portrayed in a light that makes me uncomfortable. I don't mind human flaws portrayed, that makes ppl's fics and real life interesting, but I don't like seeing Orlando Bloom, or any actor and actress/entertainer at that, portrayed as a malicious, incestuous killer turned vampire raping for pleasure or whatnot.
That is why I don't host dark fics. That is a censure, yes, but something I believe is easy to live with. Authors who submitted dark fic despite the rules, have been pointed towards another archive who hosts dark fics. There was politeness in pointing out our rules and in no way have we ever ridiculed dark fics authors. If ppl are dissatisfied with the fics hosted here, and think they are all Mary Sues and boys meets girl and live happily ever after, so be it. After all, we live (still) in a world where freedom of speech is an established right to express by everyone.
Having said that, I come to another subject. With the Allied Forces now engaging war on the Iraqi terror regime, ppl have sent me emails/lectures to be posted on the site. I have already mentioned that before, I DO NOT post any 'no war entreaties'. After all, I want this site to be non-political and these entreaties do not have anything to do with the subject of this site, Orlando Bloom. Call it infringement of freedom of speech, but this is my opinion on the subject. If you want to share your thoughts about war, please do so on the appropriate forums that have opened up since Thursday last. Besides, we have at least one squadron of RAF pilots from the HMS Ark Royal reading on the site, I know because my cousin is one of them. So, although you might be against this war, and hiss and boo at President Bush, Prime Minister Blair and the Prime Ministers of Denmark, Spain and the Netherlands, please keep in mind that the soldiers of the Allied Forces are sent there because they are doing their jobs. They follow orders, and they are NOT - as someone put it in their mail - killers.
Drawing no dividend from time's to-morrows.
In the great hour of destiny they stand,
Each with their feuds, and jealousies, and sorrows.
Soldiers are sworn to action; they must win
Some flaming, fatal climax with their lives.
Soldiers are dreamers; when the guns begin
They think of firelit homes, clean beds and wives.
Siegfried Sassoon, Collected Poems 1908 - 1956; 'Dreamers'
Rant #11 (1st in the new year)
27th February 2003
Just got this email recently:
[...] i was wondering if you could, or somehow ask the writers to inform the readers that the story the[y] are reading maybe slightly mature, and have sexual content that they may not like to read. it causes problems when reading a story, and then midway through you need to stop, or skip parts due to their content. i know lotr has brought in many young fans and i would hant for them to come across something they arent ready to read. i guess just as a help to your readers some sort of warning either by you or the reader would be great.
Errr... I don't know about you, but haven't you all be stumbling over litle popup windows that inform you of a story's mature content or the little header where it says NC17 rating? We do not use the rating system for nothing, and if you cannot keep your eyes open or at least one brain cell engaged, then I don't know what I should do to keep 'the younger readers' protected.
And most of the time the readers old enough to read NC17 rated fanfic get squeamish not the poor, poor victims themselves. A wee bit of fictional sex has not hurt anybody, and we try to protect them, but if they overlook all warnings, then it is beyond my control.
So, here are a few helpful thinks to refresh your memory:
All stories have not only a rating in their header but also a rating right along the summary on the main author's page. Additionally, NC17 rated fanfic opens to a popup window when accessed, which states clearly that you must be over 17 to access the story or leave it be (that's why there is a wee little CANCEL button). As to the rating, that is indeed implied by the authors, here is what is stated in the FAQ - rating
G-rated
Appropiate for all readers, no sex, no hanky panky, no strong words
PG(13)-rated Appropriate for young ppl with parental guidance
R-rated
Violence (for military fics), mild sex and/or language and is not appropriate for anyone under legal age
NC-17 rated
graphic sex, violence and/or language that is not appropriate for anyone under legal age and some adults.
I hope that clears things up.
Okay with this out of the way, let me get to point #2 of my first rant in the new year.
I really, REALLY have it up to my eye balls with ppl asking me when their stories will be out. I'm behind a whole bloody month with over 150 submissions still sitting in my inbox. That you inquire several times a day and week, get sulky, pouty or downright rude, is none concern of mine. I only get angry and believe me, you want your webmistress on your good side in order to be published, ladies and gents, and not so pissed off at you that I consider dumping your stories altogether.
Let me re-iterate a few - albeit to some of you - minor facts:
This site is a hobby (and in case you forgot what that word means, let me refresh your memory with the entry from Webster's: hobby, noun : a pursuit outside one's regular occupation engaged in especially for relaxation)
I work for a living like any other human being too.
I sit in front of the computer more than 16 hours a day
I pay for this site (which is about 40 US Dollars per month, domain and bandwith included).
I already have a guilty conscience that due to health problems and a real life I have been bad in updating.
So now, pray tell me, if this site is a hobby of mine and I have all the work, why I should stand by and get utter bull from some writers?
Yeah right, thought so. So lay off me, I would like nothing more than having the site up to date and returning to daily business.
Thank you to all who have been offering help, atm due to the fact that I use a SuperNotePad template and reviewbooks that are in German, I can't delegate much work as it is. So don't be mad at me, for declining your help. What I really need atm is someone who would offer to help me set up the archive as a database in SQL so that we can have automated submissions like fanfiction.net. Thank you.
Una
- and in case you are wondering, this little rant was written in the cause of three days, thanks to my right arm still in plaster.
Resumé for 2002
01st January 2003
I hope you don't have too much of a hangover ;-) Here is a little resumé of the last year. Well, it has been a really exciting 2002. On April 8th the site was born and for the 297 days we have been online in 2002 (April 8th to December 31st) we had about 224000 hits. That makes it a cut of more than 750 visitors per day. During the past year we have been honoured to give a home to 231 authors with a total of 546 stories.
We have 3.317 HTML & image files and the whole site takes up 66 MB webspace. That is quite a lot, and I wanted to thank you all, readers and authors alike to make this site such a huge success. Hopefully 2003 will also be a highly successful year and I wish all of you a happy new year and lots of muse for the authors
Thank you :)
26th December 2002
First off: Thank you all to be so patient with me .. I know what kind of hell I have put my author's unwittingly through while I was not able to update. There you slave over your writing, hone the characters, the plot and all, then have the finished product and send it in and ... NADA .. not a word. I'm sorry about that, and I hope with my Christmas updates I could make up a bit to all of you, writers and readers alike.
But there is an upside to the whole virus thing, it made me reach a decision. I need to automate this site like ff.net. Of course that will incorporate some changes here, especially the reinforcement of the NO DARKFIC policy and a complete haulover on the site design to fit into the database and PHP thing. Additonally, I have to find someone who can set up a database for this site. (I suck at these and have successfully dodged creating them in my line of work professionally) So anyone firm in PHP and MYSQL, please give me a holler.
Rant #10
02nd December 2002
Okay, cut me some slack here will'ya??? I really REALLY get pissed off by ppl who bug me with their stories, not only once or twice but more times. Let me get this even into the densest of brains: this site is for fun, most of all for me. I'm not your personal slave nor do I have to update to spite other fanfic webmasters. And that I take some few days off is not the world, folks. Contrary to some of your beliefs I'm a professional woman with a highly demanding and professional job. I might sit in front of the computer 24/7 but I can't just drop everything when an email with a story submission comes in. I have deadlines to meet, if I don't I lose money. Money, I might remind you, that is earned to keep this web page on the net. I do this for fun, in my own time, with my own money, burning too often the midnight oil to get the updates up in the mornings. I really don't need any smart assed, selfish little brats who inquire repeatedly why the fuck their stories aren't updated. Gee, gimme a break. I could just as easily close this site, capice?
Rant #9
13th October 2002
Okay, let me get this one really clear once and for all.
a) I'm NOT hosting Legolas fanfiction! Not because I don't like you (as someone pointed out to me in an email) but because of personal choice. I rarely read LOTR fanfiction so why, pray tell me, should I put work into it? Let alone time, money and bandwidth? I work almost four hours per day on this site depending on the size and load of fanfictions submitted each day. You might think with the pre-formatting it is easy for me, just copy it in and that's it .. nope it isn't because I get non-formatted stuff as well as HTML formatted stuff that is formatted all wrong. Additionally, I have to create new review books for new stories, change the appearance, translate it into English (yep, I'm using a German guestbook as it can be changed completely in appearance). I have to hold the hands of writers, bounce, cheer them up and what not, and to top that off I have a life to live, with a husband and work that is really straining. With this said, here is number two...
b) I do NOT host any off the wall non-Orlando related stuff ... may it be religiously uplifting, just mental drivel, or the next NO WAR Petition (which is a hoax, so get real)
Why?
Because I'm not religious so I really, really stick to the free religion for all kind of thing and do not want to impose beliefs on others who could care less. My web space is too precious as to fill it up with mental drivel that no one really cares about, especially not me and guess what, I all the way second President Bush's notion to go to war in Iraq. I personally believe that this war is necessary, to pertain the freedom of every individual in the Western World.
So don't get your knickers in a skivvy and behave like normal people if I decline your submissions, the reasons I do are one or all of the above ... deal with it, or go somewhere else because the site is run my way. I PAY for this site and it's mine. This site ain't no democracy.
Una - bitchy emperess
Rant #8
29th September 2002
Well it is not really a rant but some piece of advice. Over the last couple of weeks some NC17 writers have been asked by younger readers if the sex is as they described it in their smut scenes (you are not supposed to read NC17 rated stuff anyway when you are not 17 or OLDER, kids)
Anyway, is sex great? Yes, if both partners know what they are doing, it can be. Is sex perfect? No way. Let me give you some adjectives sex is mostly:
messy, clumsy, awkward, embarrassing, painful, ridiculous and a lot more.
That said, of course sex can also be fun, arousing and very meaningful. But most of the time it is more clumsy than meaningful and more awkward and messy than really sexy and fun. Why? Because sex can only be good if both partners a) want it and b) feel ready that they should do this great step in sharing intimacy with another person, that it is the right time and the right place.
If a girl (or boy) doesn't feel she is ready for this step, then NO is a NO, not a 'maybe' and most of all not a 'yes'. Don't listen to what your boy friend tells you ... or the advice that your girl-friends who have all 'done it' already have to give you. If a girl feels too young for it, then listen to your gut feeling. And if your boyfriend tells you: "If you really love me you would sleep with me..." then send him to hell. He is just keen on the sex. Give him twenty Dollars/Pounds/Euro and send him into the nearest direction to a brothel or tell him to use his ten little fingers.
Love and sex is not the same ... you can love a person and still stay with that person although the sex might be boring and atrocious, or you can have great sex with a person but you do not love it. One's first time should be when the time is right, when you feel you are mature enough to handle the situation (and I mean not only the sex but also the protection - pill, condom etc. - against pregnancy AND disease) and when you feel you want to share this with another person.
Most of the time what we NC17 writers are writing is the ideal ... the locos amoenus (beautiful place) where sex is great and not messy (you'll find out soon enough whether or not you've ever used a condom). We take all the good experiences and roll it into one but there is no such thing as instant gratification, most of the time you as the woman have to tell your man how to do things, remember, men only have their own experience and an orgasm for them feels totally different to what a woman experiences.
In case, you young girls out there start to have sex, and you feel something is not right or missing, tell your mate, otherwise he won't change anything and you'll never come close to the beautiful place where your toes curl up and you feel like you are exploding inside.
And another thing ... the rating NCSEVENTEEN isn't just there to gather more reviews but it has a reason. If you are younger than 17, stay away from it. As you can see it can confuse you and might lead you onto a path that you really do not like following and where your body might alreay be but where your mind still isn't.
Concluding, all I can say is: be mature about what you read and stay off it until it applies to you, and that also applies to having sex.
Una - feeling like the agony aunt ;-)
Rant #7
22nd September 2002
A lot of you might have noticed that I do not update so much during the day anymore. That has two reasons, a) because we get not as many fanfics during the day as we used to and b) and this is the most important reason, contrary to some ppl's beliefs, I do have a job to hold down. I might work from home but I do have office hours too, where I have to meet deadlines.
So please stop emailing me when your fanfics don't appear on the site ten minutes after you have submitted them. Especially if you take in mind that when you submit your story at 8 pm EST, it is 3AM my time. Sending me up to five emails asking, demanding and what not where the hell your chapters/stories are doesn't make me work any harder or quicker. On the contrary it makes me more recalcitrant and could lead to me on putting your email addy on ignore and ignoring your chapters/stories all together.
Second thing is, I do not ... I repeat ... DO NOT host Legolas fic, for several reasons:
personal preference : I do not write nor read a lot of LOTR fanfic. Lord Of The Rings by Tolkien is something like a Bible to me, and I only make little exceptions when I DO read a LOTR fanfic.
writers craving reviews : I really do not care if your LOTR fics don't get any reviews on LOTR specific fanfic sites. Please take that matter to the webmasters in question, to either provide you with a similar review system like ff.net or to promote your fanfic more. Otherwise I really do not want to hear about it. Period.
monetary reasons : The server this site is on is paid by me ... yes, ladies and gents I pay monthly to provide for the web space as well as the bandwidth transfer. I'm already hitting hard the bandwidth transfer limit every month, with the hits we are getting from Orlific-only readers, imagine what would happen when I would open a Legolas fanfic section. Anyone remember those 404 -site temporarily unavailable signs? It could happen because I do not want to pay 5 to 10 US $ extra to every 1 MB when I exceed my bandwidth.
As to all the reasons given above, it doesn't work if you leave me out of the discussion by only emailing Dom and/or Claudia. They do not have the login and password to this account, nor will they have it as this account is also where my business site is located (and about all my other sites as well). They know my take on Legolas fic and although they might not like my opinion on this issue, will not try to sway me.
Una - webmistress
Rant #6
22nd August 2002
Okay ranting time again !!!!!!
I do not condone any abusive behaviour towards the writers featured here, so keep your profanities at a place where the sun don't shine. I mean it. ALL abusers and flamers will be reported to their respective internet providers, and these made it quite clear that they boot ppl who cannot behave themselves on the net and give their services a bad name. So stop showing off like the stupid idiots you are and behave as if you have at least one grey cell up in your skull. The reviews here are logged, you might not leave an email address but your computer has a unique IP addy, and with this I will find you and your provider. And before you think you can use your work computer, think again. I do not hesitate to mail the admin and your boss at the place you work
Una
Rant #5
11th July 2002
Okay, ranting time again.
1) if I do get a story, and mail writers about the way it is written (because it goes against the rules or needs a spell check badly) and I get an EDITED version back, then I'll post it on the site. If a writer forgets to post parts, it is not my problem. I only post what I get but I do mail the writers and ask to have the COMPLETE story posted. However, if I don't get an answer back, I will let the matter drop.
2) if the way a story is posted here is not to a writer's liking, then please, go somewhere else. I try to post the stories a) so they fit the layout, b) are easily readable and c) do not compete with others. That is why every story has the same layout, sometimes with a link to coverart, most times not. If you like huge banners and whatnots, then please post your stories somewhere else. You won't find it here.
I'm always open to suggestions (ask Dom she knows
Rant #4
08th July 2002
Folks, hate mail and flame reviews happen all the time. Don't loose heart because of just one idiot flaming you and your fic ... or flaming this site. things like these happen. These ppl are just jealous and don't know what to do with their time, let alone come up with an idea to write at all. Let them flame and refer them to me. :) Every review that is submitted leaves an IP address, every IP addy belongs to a computer at a private home or a company, and there is something like abuse@ for every on-line service as well as company. You get my drift?! Good. As it happens the person posting as Heh and OB himself (we wish !!) has been notified with IP address and ARIN info to his/her employers, so let's see how kindly the employer of this person takes to squandering company's money and time during office hours by flaming writers of this site AND dissing this archive.
Addendum #1 : Oh and before I forget .. ppl asked me some stuff about the site ... if you haven't before, please go to our site history if you want to know more, as for the more inquisitive, currently (as of now) we have 1.205 fanfic html files in our archive and 18 html files that make up this page (like the updates etc.).
Addendum #2:
Please stop nominating this site for BEST FANFIC site at MOA (milui orlando awards). We already won best fanfic site and we cannot run in this category anymore. There are some really great fanfic sites out there, so please check the fanfiction links. I personally think Out of Middle Earth is a great site :)
Rant #3
19th June 2002
People have asking me why I didn't give certain ppl a little star
Rant #2
04th June 2002
In order to avoid yesterday's fallout, I have added a new category to the FAQ, namely that of a list of terms and their meaning.
Additionally, I have added a new category under MISC - fanfic resources: Beta Readers (so if you want to volunteer as a beta give me a yell or if you are a writer who needs a beta, look here)
Thank you all who have been sending mails to me - you guys rock ! And it was a pleasure to entertain you (waves at Nikkers) and if you are interested in more rants (but not here - no no
Rant # 1
03rd June 2002
Una's Rant:
Okay, before we go to this day's updates I want to say something first:
What does Slash mean? Slash means sexual situations between two consenting adults of the same sex. That is a widely known term in fanfiction and yes, we have slash stories in this archive as well. If you don't like two men or two women doing 'it' together, then stay away from stories that are marked with slash ! Flaming an author and gay ppl is only showing your own stupidity and intolerance AND the fact you are obviously not able to read and make sense of perfectly correct coherent words.
And for those with outdated morals (you know who you are) Homosexuality is neither a disease nor an act of evilness, so go and stuff your outdated morals where the sun don't shine. I'm hopping, fucking mad and it makes me angry that those holier than thou folks still have these outdated morals in the 21st century. This is a fan FICTION archive, does the term FICTIONAL ring a bell?? Whether or not Orlando Bloom or any other actor is gay or not (either in real or fictional life), we should respect them as well as the author who writes slash.
Let's face it, Orli's best friend is bi-sexual for crying out loud and Orli and others have been seen French kissing member's of their own sex - oh gasp what a shock -NOT!!
Edited:
Okay I think I should elaborate here ...I'm NOT bashing anyone's religion, with holier than thou ppl & outdated morals I mean those who think that homosexuals should be put away with as they think their sexual preference is downright wrong. Their opinions might be based on religion, upbringing or something or other, but it shows only that they are not abiding to one fundamental law that, if I remember correctly here from my Catholic upbringing, as Jesus said: "Love thy neighbour". All religions (And I'm meaning all beliefs) which preach the love of all beings (enemies and friends alike) but have incarcerated, put to death and shut away homosexuals in their long history, are highly questionable in my oh so humble opinion. It is like saying: "Love thy neigbour but if s/he is a homosexual, god forbid and run a sword through them!" But this is only my opinion, I don't want to bash anyone, everyone is entitled to their own opinons, but let's play nice here. Some ppl although knowing what slash means, lashed out at an author of this site, and with doing so lashing out at homosexuals in general. This has nothing to do with religion, it has to do with some common sense, folks.
Una, your very pissed off web mistress
and this bitch is driving the bus.
and this bitch is driving the bus.