Sunday - all gone again

[scottishlass]

I don't know what it is .. it is Sunday night and all I do is watching some documentary of pre-historic Varna. Jeesh ... where have my wild days gone? Did it all end when I turned 35?
Where has the flirtatious Goth-Lady gone? I guess I lost it last December when I finally parted with the one thing that still reminded me of the good ol' days ... my nose ring. I had worn it for 21 years and then I thought it wouldn't be good for my hobby, so I got rid of it. But still - 5 months - I catch myself putting my fingertip against the left side of my nose where the ring was. I feel naked, exposed and somehow old.

I guess. Today, when I was at my in-law's home I realized that I have become something I never wanted to be ... part of the establishment.

I am married.

I work in education.

I have a pet that substitues as a kid.

*sigh*

But then again I could be living a different life, either alone or with a husband that drinks and abuses, so I won't be complaining too much. But it is funny to see that I have become what my parents always wanted and not what I thought I wanted. But it is okay, I mean I have a good life, I love my husband and he loves me, and Chica fills up a part of my heart that I never thought existed.

But why do I feel like my life's just rushing by?

Comments

[ceruleanedge.livejournal.com]

i totally hear you on the life rushing by. it seems like i've to remind myself to eat and sleep, there's so much to do. and life has this way of turning out to be not what you expected. :-/ but that's really cool that you're counting your blessings. :-) i guess all we can really ask for realistically is a healthy life and for our loved ones to be safe.

[koellegirl.livejournal.com]

Don't worry to much Una. I think it is a very normal thing, that you sometimes feel everything turned out other than you thought it would be or dreamed it would be. I am very sure, that you would think the same thoughts, had you chosen another lifestyle. It is problably this part of us, when we feel, the gras on the other side is greener.
I find it funny, that you think you become something your parents wanted you to be... when they still critizise so very often. I think you are still very much different and very special.
Hugs, A.

[miriel361.livejournal.com]

yes - doesn't life rush by. The best half is over. But when I find myself worrying about missing out or conforming too much - I remind myself that I still half (at least) half a life left and there are so many possibilities.

You are definately not turning into your mum ... but maybe your grandmother?